*I wasn’t expecting to post a ‘throwback’ today, but given my experience today, it was far too uncanny not to**
Before my flight out tonight, M and I decided to spend some time together outside. It was a little blustery and windy, but the sun was shining and it was in the 50s. And given he cooped himself up in my room almost all weekend for 12 hours a day in the home stretch of his thesis, I thought he could use some fresh air too.
We went to a nearby park by my house (it’s on my running route and it always makes me smile, thinking of the summer, the beach and half marathon training!) with our iced coffees in one hand, our other hand holding each others’.
We smelled the fresh ocean air, walked along the sand, towards a rose garden (yet to bloom, of course) and along the grassy paths.
When it struck me…this was the place where I realized, a year ago, that things were just not going to work out with CBE. It was that fateful walk in the park that turned awfully weird, awfully fast, which later ended in a strange conversation about defining happiness (aka ‘he went all ‘The Secret’ on me, for those of you that remember!).
I shared the story with M, who kept shaking his head, wondering (I’m sure) why I had even bothered with him as long as I did. Recapping it, I almost felt silly, because comparatively? CBE has nothing on M. Absolutely nothing. And if I ever thought CBE was even close to the man I’m meant to be with, I was clearly mistaken (and blessedly so, to be honest).
It made the walk in the park today that much sweeter. I held on to M’s hand that much tighter, hugged him closer, and said a little prayer in my head, thanking God for where I am in my life, at this very moment.
In so many ways, my life is completely different than it was a year ago. I’m in a different career, I’ve traveled hundreds of thousands of miles, I’ve stretched my boundaries in so many ways personally and professionally, I’ve met M, I’ve fallen in live, and I see a future brighter than I ever have.
So, as I sit here (again) with tears in my eyes, at the airport, these tears are far less about sadness and far more about being grateful for where I am now, a year later. Same location, vastly different outcome.