The other day, I noticed ‘brainy blonde’ (the almost-coulda-been guy I dated for a few months about 9 months before meeting M) got married.
And honestly, I smiled. I was really happy for him.
Because he followed his path and went for it with a woman he was meant to be with. When he broke things off with me, he told me that he had a chance meeting with a former classmate when he went home for Thanksgiving and there was just something about their connection over coffee that he had to pursue. He couldn’t explain it, he just knew it was what he had to do. It was all very honest and very forthcoming and I believed it when he told me.
She was the woman he married last week.
I just found that incredible. He really DID know she was the one for him. Sure, he couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but there was something there, something pulling him in that direction.
And that example is yet another reason why I firmly stand behind that statement - you know when you’re supposed to know. Not always immediately, not always the minute you meet someone. Soon after, sure, but it’s not always the fairy tale ‘I knew it was my future husband the minute I met him’ kind of thing.
And it’s why I look over at M this evening and think about how incredibly glad I am that ‘brainy blonde’ did what he did. Because what if…what if we kept dating, what if I never met M? And not to put all credit towards that breakup at all, but it just speaks to the fact that there is someone out there for all of us…it may not be the first one, it may not even be the one you end up marrying (clearly for me!), but there is. In some circuitous way, there is someone out there for us.
After I found out that ‘brainy blonde’ got married, my mind wandered to my ex-husband. I haven’t talked to him in months (again), but I know he was getting serious with the girl he was dating. And I wonder if she is the one for him. I wonder if he’s found what I have with M. And I honestly hope that he has. I hope that he’s found what he never found with me, what he ended our marriage to find. I hope that for him. I know it sounds weird, but I do.
And I guess I am just constantly amazed at how much more I believe that there isn’t (always) just one person for everyone…that sometimes you are with someone that teaches you a lot, that you go through years of love and life together with, only to come to a point where that is the end of your journey together…and you move forward, you pick up the pieces, and you realize that maybe there is a lot more truth in that than you thought. And then you meet M and you realize it’s true. There’s somebody out there for all of us…it just might not be the one you marry. (first)