**The sixth in my little series on learning to live with M together. I will write these as the thoughts cross my mind**
It’s been about two months since M and I moved in together and we are, as you would imagine, still learning. But that’s okay, because, well, we should be. Always. If we aren’t learning, we aren’t growing.
Some learnings, though, in these last two months?
I asked M what he has learned about me…that maybe he was surprised to learn. He said my ‘sudden mood swings.’ I laughed, not totally knowing what he meant. And then he said, ‘like, when we are driving somewhere and get lost. You fly off the handle.’
Uh, guilty as charged. (also, cue u-haul meltdown...that was a mood swing of epic proportions!)
I guess I would also add in my annoying mood this weekend when the power went out. I ended up apologizing to him last night, telling him that I don’t want to ever take him or the time we have together for granted, regardless of the situation. It was a big lesson to me, that in the middle of my frustrated mood, knew was happening, yet I couldn’t stop myself from just being. Note to self: this is a huge work-in-progress area – work on it!!
For me? I’m actually surprised how distracted he can get. As in…when I’m talking to him. (this is when the TV is on, mind you). I could tell him 3 times what we’re doing this weekend and 10 minutes later “hey, babe, what are we doing this weekend? do we have plans?”
Um, am I on a different planet? Speaking Dutch, perhaps?
Called to the carpet on that one. He admits that if he’s watching something on TV, he isn’t actually listening, though he tries to do both, he just can’t. And, yeah, this shouldn’t be earth-shattering. Most men (sorry guys…) seem to fall into this habit. I guess I never noticed it before since when we weren’t living together, we might talk about plans on the phone or something, where I would actually have his full attention. At home, sure, there are always distractions.
But hey…we’re learning, right? My wild mood swings, his temporary amnesia…it’s a beautiful combination, I do believe
Other things I am learning so far?
How much I love living together. I guess that goes without saying, but I just love being together. I love how much closer we are getting. I love our chats…whether they are crazy goofy or deep and thoughtful. I love talking about marriage, and our future, and our goals.
How much of a nester I am becoming. I never thought I was that type, but I am. I love putting down roots, starting new traditions and routines together, and even learning that some of my habits (and some of his) are going to adjust and evolve as we grow together.
How much we both have our lives and our own ‘me’ time. This was very important to me, personally, to maintain, given I have lived along for almost three years, and have really grown accustomed to having that time to myself. We make sure to spend quality time together, over dinner, or just catching up on our day, but we also are good about separating off and doing things that we like to do during the evenings or weekends, or whatever.
How perfectly imperfect we are. Living together has shown me that we will have bumps. We already have more than I thought we would at the outset. But I think that is what has brought us closer than ever. Working through it and communicating and figuring each other out more than ever before.
How much I want to marry him. I really, really do. And when he told me the other night that as he was having trouble drifting to sleep, he started thinking about getting married and all that is in our future, my heart skipped a beat. Is it so bad that ever since he asked me this question, I have been thinking about a proposal pretty much ever since? I surprise myself with these thoughts because I didn’t think it would be that important to me, that I wanted to be married again. But I do. And I want to marry him. When it’s meant to happen, it will, right?
Simply stated? I love living together. Everything about it.