As I mentioned in last week’s quirks post, M is downright hilarious. And sometimes, he just comes out with the funniest things, so I try to collect them and share them (as I linked to a few in my quirks post back to as well!), because they are (at least to me!) that funny and it sheds a little light into him and of the many reasons I love him so much (insert *gag* mushville here, I know!)
Remarking when I was playing Sunshine in Words with Friends (when he saw how badly she was crushing me!!): Are you even trying to play? Dude, she is kicking your ass. (um, no shit, Sherlock!)
When stuck behind a school bus stopping every 2 minutes: Ya know, this is why we have a child obesity problem. Kids don’t have to walk to school anymore. The buses stop at every Goddamn house and pick them up. They don’t even have to congregate at a bus stop. Kids should be walking to school, in the rain and the snow, carrying their book bags and pulling a donkey. Then we’d have no child obesity and no traffic! (end rant)
When discussing dinner options for tonight (since we’ll eat separately as I am teaching at barre n9ne): Me: I’ll probably just make a quick veggie stir fry with chicken sausage. I’ll leave the rest for you to make however you want, since I know you won’t want nearly as many veggies as me. M: Yes, I do. I’ll make mine with potatoes and beans! Me: those aren’t even vegetables. Those are starches. M: Beans are vegetables! So are potatoes. *shakes head*
Seeing a child fall at the grocery store and bump his head on a shelf: Kids bump their heads all the time. It’s not like it’s edged with saws and flames and rimmed with cocaine. (he always knows how to take something, make it funny…and then go one more
step leap to make it inappropriate!)
On Facebook: Facebook is so boring now. I don’t care what you did today or that you are having a good day. (yet he comes out with the funniest stuff on Facebook sometimes, like this one: ”Hi, can I have a trenta iced americano?” “sorry, we can’t make that.” “Ok, how about I order a iced venti americano and you just add a few shots to it?” “No, its against corporate’s policy?” Oh no, has starbucks grown a conscience or am I just being racially profiled?) <–hahaha.
On the phone with his parents (this is basically the same convo he has with them everysinglenight): Hi mom. How’s it going? (pause) What did you guys do today? (pause) Oh, the exciting times of the retired. Wild and crazy kids. (pause, laughs). How are you feeling? (I always giggle at this one – even polite with the fam!). Okay, let me talk to dad. (repeat same convo).
Over dinner with me: What did you do at work today? Anything fun and/or exciting? How are you feeling? How was work today? (me: I just told you what I did today, you just asked me. M: No, I didn’t. I asked WHAT you did at work today and then HOW was your day. Me: shakes head.)
Hope you enjoyed this little installment of random conversations with M. These always make me giggle. I just need to write down his priceless comments when he says them more often. It could be a weekly post