This past weekend, beyond being of epic proportions, was a real eye-opener to me in terms of perception. On the ‘real’ me vs. the ‘blog’ me. It was the very first time I had met ‘blog friends’ that thought I was different in person than on my blog. Not by a massive amount, but just in terms of my demeanor. More reserved, ‘not as woohoo!’ (T’s words! Hehe), than perhaps I come across here.
And that got me thinking…who *is* the real me?
In true stream-of-conscious form, this is me…in real life and on my blog.
I’m happy, by nature. I strive for it, sure, but naturally? I am just a happy person. And I strive to be around happy, positive people. Debbie Downers need not apply.
I’m a giver and a ‘feeder’…the older I get, the more I do as my Nonna did, and ‘feed with love’ and give, with love too.
I’m a worrier. I worry if everyone is having fun if I am hosting a party. I worry about my job, about where I am going with it. I worry about my runs (clearly). I worry about teaching barre n9ne (and bringing it, every single time). But I temper that with de-emphasizing overthinking. I call it worrying checks and balances. I worry ‘just enough’ to keep things in check.
I’m a lover. But I find it hard to show sometimes. I cocoon. I’m not as outward with it as much as I’d like to, or as much as I write about here.
I’m a laugher. I love to laugh till my face hurts. At bad jokes. And good ones. And when I’m nervous. And at random times when I realize after, that may not have been that funny, or appropriate timing (meh, oh well).
I’m way too stuck in my routine for my own good. I seriously stress about it far too often. I can’t settle until the house is clean. Laundry is put away. If I’m traveling, clothes are unpacked. Or if I am caught up on all of my emails. Or work. And to’do’s. (there is something to be said for throwing routine out the window…though I think it would scare the shit out of me to do far too much…I talk a good game about doing it, but deep down, routine makes me happy.)
I’m a doer and a goal-maker. I don’t feel quite ‘right’ unless I am doing something and working towards a goal. But sometimes it gets the best of me and I just feel burnt. (kind of feeling that way now, actually.)
I’m an overachiever. See above.
I can see the good in just about any bad situation. It’s my puppies and rainbows side coming out like whoa.
I can be shy. I don’t like to be the center of attention. In fact, I usually hate it.
I can also be loud and funny. It’s weird how I can be shy but also loud, isn’t it?
I’m honest. I’m real. I’m me. Sometimes quiet, sometimes reserved, sometimes ‘in my own head.’ But sometimes willing to step out of my comfort zone and tap a toe on the edgier side. It may not be the edgy side that others define edgy as, but for me? If it makes me uncomfortable, it’s probably edgy (for me!).
And at the core of it? Nothing makes me much happier than being surrounded by happy, loving people all having a good time together. And in those instances? I just sit back, laugh, and breathe it all in.
If someone asked you who you are, who are you? The real you? In all of your strengths, weaknesses, and everything in between?