13.1…my way.

Today, I ran ‘my own’ half marathon.

Almost exactly two years to the day since my first half marathon (that was, in my mind, botched).

Just over a year since my second half marathon (that proved that I am *not* a racer).

I finally proved to myself that I can run 13.1…my own way, in a time that I knew I could (yet never quite achieved in aforementioned half marathon race environments!).

It was my do-over that I have had in the back of my mind ever since that botched second attempt at a half marathon.

And I did it with no fanfare, no stated goal, nothing. (just a few quiet sherpas pushing me along – thank you ladies, you are truly, truly the best. Especially that 5:30 am text message from this one, who I love so!)

Because that’s how I roll.

Some say a goal isn’t ‘real’ until you write it down.

I call bullshit on that and say a goal is a goal no matter if it’s on paper or not.

So, I give you…13.1…my way. 

***

Up we woke, at 5:30, pitch black, but thankfully, relatively warm (57 degrees), clear skies, no rain (windswept rain in the forecast for tonight and tomorrow, egad!).

Out the door by 6 am, and it was still dark, and honestly, that first mile in almost darkness felt so bad ass, I loved it! (though I was straining my eyes to find bunnies, since I knew it would be prime time for them!)

I probably went out a little too fast, feeling all bad ass and stuff (LOL), and after the second or third mile, I started to go into mental brain mode, but a spate of 6 bunny sightings perked me up.

I started to break the run up in my head into pieces, and just think of the next ‘spot’ along the route I’d created that I would be happy at, while chanting ‘let the run come to you’ (also a la this girl!) and ‘run the mile you’re in’ over and over in my head.

Somewhere around mile 7 or 8, I started hitting a wall. Too early, in my book, and I started to wonder if last week’s 12 mile redemption run would be my best run of this ‘secret’ training and this one would soon turn shittastic.

Well, it didn’t hit the shittastic zone, but there were a few miles in there that I was thisclose to a bit of a hissy fit. My legs felt so.tired. And I stupidly (in hindsight) wore my new replacement Brooks Ghost 4s (thinking – same shoe – shouldn’t matter that I haven’t worn them yet) and was feeling blisters forming. On. Both. Ankles.

A different fueling strategy (one Honey Stinger around the one hour mark, a Healthy Bite a la this girl around the 8 or 8.5 mile mark, and one more Honey Stinger around mile 11, with water, of course) seemed to helped, but I just kept burning out fast.

Saving grace was a bit of a walk ‘stop’ as M got two pages (did I mention he was on call last night and this morning? trooper, my sherpa, isn’t he?) and I tried to talk myself down. I was again, thisclose to hissy fit status and almost wanted to cut out the little loop add-on I added to get us to 13.1 (reasoning that 12.8 was ‘close enough’ even though I knew I’d be pissed at myself after). What did M say to that?

“We are running 13.1 miles today. If we don’t do that loop, I’d call that a fail, wouldn’t you?” <-man, does he know how to turn my mental wacked brain back on to myself, doesn’t he?!

After that tough love talk, we powered through the last of our run, two bloody heels and all, and did it. Stopped, held hands, caught our breathe and realized we did it….

In 2:18. 

My ‘secret’ goal? Anything under 2:30 and I would have been thrilled.

2:18? 

Frigin awesome.

Today, we ran a half marathon. 13.1 miles. My (our) way.

And I couldn’t (again) be more proud.

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40 thoughts on “13.1…my way.

  1. YAY – so happy for you girl. And I agree, just because you don’t write it down or say it out loud doesn’t mean it’s not a goal nor is it not a goal achieved. And I never thought about running in the dark as badass, but it kind of is ;-) And way to rock out the huge PR too!

    1. Thank you friend! Running in the dark IS bad ass! It at least felt that way and kind of cool to do too, since it’s usually at least a little light out by the time we leave :)

  2. First off? That’s a GIANT PR sis, GIANT. And time aside? You ran this ‘race’ proudly, strongly, happily. WAY more important than the time it took you to do it but still very cool that you are a lot speedier than you used to be! I am SO SO SO proud of you, sis. I can’t say it enough. #proudsisteralert!!

    PS. LOVE M’s tough love chat at the end, rock on M!!

    1. Thanks sis, it is a big difference time-wise from before, but more importantly, I finished the run the way I had always hoped. For the first time. THAT was my redemption, two years in the making :) M and tough love, you are teaching him too much ;-)

  3. Congratulations my friend – I am so happy for you! Good for you for doing things on your terms. That’s the beauty of running – everyone is different and there is no “right” or “wrong” way of doing things – just whatever works for you! (Also, I think you and I have very similar points of view on goals, etc.).

  4. SHRIEK!!!! Sososososososo proud!!! You rode the highs when they came, and fought out of the lows that were inevitable. THAT is the sign of a TOUGH CHICK who wanted something badly enough to fight for it. And now I’m getting teary so I’ll stop. Love love LOVE this.

    1. If I could hug you right now, I would ;-) this comment made me smile so much, because of how supportive and emotional you get even when it’s not YOUR goal or YOUR run. That’s what makes you amazing :) XO

  5. I, too, ran my own half marathon this weekend – faster than my miserable official half marathon labor day weekend. Sometimes the quiet moments are much more powerful!!!!!

  6. I am so proud, happy and excited for you!!! Congrats. I too agree that just because it’s not written down or said aloud doesn’t mean it’s not a goal (whoa, that’s a lot of negatives in that sentence. I hope I didn’t just cancel the whole thing out). Also, I love that you did it your way.

    1. Thank you! And yes, it doesn’t have to be in writing for it to be a goal. Some find accountability that way, but for me, it does the reverse, almost paralyzing.

  7. I am completely and utterly impressed, friend…SO proud of you for doing this YOUR way and no other way. (And I’m a terrible Sherpa for not knowing what was going on!)

    You’re absolutely right about goals…written or unwritten, it’s still a goal. (I kind of think the same way about “a goal without a deadline is just a wish”. Meh.)

    2:18…that’s just whoa. I can’t imagine that pace yet…and that’s an amazing jump from your first. <3

  8. Applause!! I always find it hard to run a race distance when it’s not a race, lol. I am so proud of you! And you don’t give yourself enough credit. I think your speed is amazing and you’re determination and commitment is much stronger than many other runners out there.

    1. Thank you!! See, we are the opposite that way, huh? I hate races and would rather run it my own way, obviously hehe ;-) And thank you, I will take the credit this time around :) XO!

  9. This is amazing! I absolutely love it! I have a talk with myself every time I run. I have a secret goal too, but I go into all of them with realistic expectations. I love that you two achieved this and that you did it together! Such incredible inspiration! Congratulations on the half!

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