My brain has been a weird thing lately (okay, it usually is, but even more so lately, if that’s even possible). Go with me on this one, ok?
I’ve realized some things that I guess I never thought I’d actually hear myself saying (or thinking).
Like…wanting a wedding. Not a big one. Not at all. A small, intimate, private thing that ultimately screams ‘us’ over and over.
Like…wanting to talk about M again on here. On this very blog that I recently declared I wouldn’t. I’ve been battling myself over what I want to share here and what I’d like to keep to myself or share *off* the Internet. So, you may see me contradict myself a fair bit here. I may talk about him, us, plans, in bits and pieces. And then I might not. I hope you’ll understand. I’m trying to toe the line between privacy, exploring my thoughts and chronicling the happiest time in my life. A tough feat, no?
Like…wanting to say no more. To simplify. To cut away the excess. I continue to struggle with this. And I realize that what I am truly struggling with is lack.of.time. And the inability to spend time with the ones I care most about. Even my sisters. So I am putting a moratorium on plans. On making plans for any weekend that isn’t *already* planned. To practice what I preach.
Like…realizing that I think I am finally FINALLY at a point in my body image journey that I am in my happy place. I’m not struggling with self esteem, I am not trying to be perfect, I am not fixated on the scale or numbers of any kind, I am continually at peace with food, and I’m just feeling…really good. And realizing that may be one of the biggest unexpected realizations of late. Who knew it could be this way? I certainly didn’t. And yes, it’s taken almost a year and a half of practicing mindfulness and getting to my happy place, but it’s been well worth it.
And finally…like realizing taking a step back and refocusing on every aspect of my life *here* and “live” is bringing me one step closer to simplicity and ultimately, that happy medium balance I crave.
So, friends, a little of this, and a little of that going on in my brain. I guess I don’t know what my point here is, but I was compelled to write today, and haven’t been lately. And this is what’s on my mind. Unexpected thoughts of the simple variety.
I’ll leave you with this, the absolute ultimate in ‘striking truths’ – what better reason is there to simplify your life than this?