On permanence and living.

As we get closer and closer to moving into our new home, I start to think more and more about the permanence of buying a new home and what it signifies, in many ways.

The first time I bought a house, I was 26/27, and the thought of living in a house for 10, 20, 30 years didn’t dawn on me. It felt like a ‘starter home’ (a phrase that seems so ancient nowadays where buying a home seems to be a much bigger deal than it used to be, when prices were dirt cheap and you could buy, just to get into the market, and not wait and wait and look and look till you find a just-right home that you can grow into and stay in for a long time).

Now, fast forward 7 years and the reality is, this home will likely be ours for the long haul. Whether that’s 10, 15, 20 years, who knows, but it is a home we *can* grow into, (possibly) start a family, and dig our heels in and really live in. And that is such an incredible feeling. Yet, at the same time, it’s a little scary. In 10 years, I’ll be 43. In 15 years, I’ll be 48, In 20 years, I’ll be 53. Those numbers seem daunting. Those years seem far away, yet also fleeting. Those years also feel permanent and far away, yet thisclose, at the very same time.

I never understood what others meant when they said life goes much faster the older you get. But it is SO TRUE. Think about it. We are already into April of 2013. Wasn’t it *just* New Year’s Eve? Wasn’t it JUST summer 2012? WHERE does time go? It is fleeting.

Life is fleeting.

It is not meant to be lived in spurts. It is not meant to be lived in ‘can’t wait’ mode. It is not meant to be lived in ‘silver linings’ of the week days that sometimes drone on, while the weekends fly by. It is meant to be lived in every minute, of every day, no matter how craptastic, or how wonderful that minute, hour, day is.

Yet, I find myself constantly battling this feeling of looking forward. Can’t waiting for the many things in store for me, and for us. It’s natural to, I suppose, but at the same time, it rips me off of the hear and now. Of my mantra to just BE, this year.

So, as we move closer to our next stage in life together, in building our proverbial – and literal – home together, my vow is to really try and take in each moment, not rush, rush, rush to the next. I know I’ll falter here and there, but I think this is one of the only ways life will feel like it’s slowing down, and I am appreciating the here and now just as much as the future filled with promise, blessings and happiness.

5d370d2a3ca1b89c5a3d0eda2099a369

About these ads

26 thoughts on “On permanence and living.

  1. It’s kind of funny how perspective changes. I remember when we were first looking at houses and we knew that one wasn’t going to be permanent. Why? Maybe that idea seemed too scary at the time. But I love the idea of settling into a home. Not thinking about moving in a few years. But making it our permanent home. And I all too often forget to enjoy the days of the week. I know it’s because I get bogged down in the rut of work and day-to-day chores. It’s so hard to step back and make pieces of joy even on a trying Monday.

    1. Isn’t that weird? I thought the same way, wasn’t thinking longevity, the first time I bought a house. As for letting the days go by too fleetingly, I hate when I get overly bogged down and am glad to try to quit that habit…yet again!

  2. Love the positiveness of this post–even you can turn the word crappy into a positive one “craptastic” have a great day!

  3. I think we all too often look to the future for the “next step” without really appreciating the here and now. Tony and I struggle with that A LOT. We have finally decided that we are here for the long haul and that we are truly happy with that. Yes, the grass is always greener, but in reality, you need to stay off of other people’s lawns (so to speak). ;)

    Another inspiring post my friend! You are nothing short of amazing!

    1. SO true! I always look at the next step before actually letting the here and now sink in. Such a bad habit. I think it’s the planner in us doing that, don’t you? We need to stay off other people’s lawns – yes!! love it :) YOU are amazing too my friend!!

  4. this is exactly what I needed to hear today. in the last couple of weeks I have realized I am kindof in a holding pattern right now… “putting things off” until my life gets less crazy.

    well, this IS life right now, and I NEED to take time to live it, especially during the crazy.

    and YES – I know Jason and I had varying thoughts about the house we just bought – of course when you are making such a large purchase you focus on resale value (and as we make improvements we have this in mind as well), but we are also LIVING in it, enjoying it, making it our own. even if it is not our LONG term house, we love it now.

    I saw something yesterday (paraphrasing) “instead of planning your next vacation, plan a life you don’t need to get away from” … now, I am ALL for vacations, always will be ;) but I do see the logic here… make that vacation FEEL in your life all the time. there is no reason you cannot hold onto that outlook and attitude as you go throughout your day (uh oh, now I’m thinking about the movie Office Space, where he asks “can’t you just knock me out so I think I’ve been fishing all day?”) hmm…

    anyway, your words resonated with me enough to ramble… XXO!

    1. Oh I am SO glad this resonated with you too friend, you were in mind when I was thinking about this, because I remember your post about putting things off and sort of pausing life a little. Not that I blame you because you actually have very good reason to feel that way right now! as for the vacation quote, I absolutely love that and NEED IT on my wall!!! :) XOXO

  5. Beautifully put, sis. You are right — life IS meant to be lived and enjoyed in the here and now versus waiting on those silver linings or ‘big’ moments in life. I remember reading about this, I think it was a Joel Osteen message maybe, and it was about life being a rollercoaster of ups and downs where we so often focus on the ‘ups’ that we forget about all the fun little ‘in betweens’ in life that are ALSO worth living to the fullest. I’m probably totally massacring his words there, but you get the idea — the ‘ups’ are awesome and worth the wait, but they aren’t the be all end all either. There is SO MUCH to life in every single moment of our days — moments that are worth cherishing, even the smallest of moments (like the one I described to you last night between Scott and I while we caught up on our day in the ‘wee’ hours of the night last night). All of that lines up to form what is a BEAUTIFUL life, one that we’re so fortunate to be gifted with to grow into, evolve, cherish. <3

  6. well said. weren’t you the one who told me: the days are long, but the years are short. That’s how I feel. I can’t believe Eric and I have been married three years already when it feels like we just got married yesterday. We’ve already been through so much, and I am still so excited with where we have yet to go, but I am so happy with where we are NOW. It’s always great to be appreciative of the current moment and not always wanting to be somewhere else.

    1. I remember saying that, yes!! The years ARE short, it’s so sadly ironic too, isn’t it? when you realize it? sometimes too late. I love that you are appreciating where you two are right now too!

  7. Love this! It’s so true. It’s hard to not constantly look toward the future but when you stop and enjoy the present and each moment life is so much more enjoyable! I’m so happy for you, things seem to be falling into place for you in so many ways. Live it up!

  8. This is so true. It is a very finite thing to buy a house and know you are making some very permanent decisions that will affect you for a long time. it seems the more these decisions are made the faster it all goes by.

  9. It’s funny how we TRY to live in the moment, but even when we’re trying it’s hard. There’s always some sort of “countdown” – to vacation, to the weekend, to a race, etc that shields us from living day to day. Maybe I should stop looking at my calendar so much……….

  10. Love this. It is a struggle isn’t it just to be and to be here now? When we bought our place, I think that I figured that this would be our first home and that we’d eventually move somewhere else. But I think that we’ll end up being here for the long-term and just that thought totally changes my perspective on things – temporary –> permanent, instead of thinking about the next step, starting to focus on here and now. I’m so excited for you and your new home!!

    1. TOTALLY changes things!! I am kind of glad I was not thinking that heavily when we started house hunting, because I think it would have turned on some major overthinking. And I am content with our choice :) Thank you friend!

  11. LOVE THIS: Remember to Live. I am terrible at this. Sometimes I think I am so busy going form step to step that I forget to enjoy things along the way. Love Love love this quote. I may need to print that and post it up…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s