On compromise and allowing for imperfection

In my quest to continue my journey to letting go and giving way to better balance, I have started to notice some signs that I may just be coming around.

By way of compromise.

I am the queen of anti-compromise. I am all for *other* people compromising, but when it comes to compromise myself, I fully admit I am kinda bad at it. (my sister Jess is likely nodding her head right now…stop nodding so hard, I know, I know!)

Some of these signs of compromise are smaller, some of them are bigger, but they are all signs that maybe, just maybe I am capable of compromise and letting go of the need for perfection and my ‘particular (aka type A like whoa…) ways.

For example…

My numbers fixation. I used to stress about how many workouts I did – my ‘me’ workouts compared to those I teach. Now? I have gotten into a good cadence of balancing those ‘me’ workouts with how many classes I teach in a week. If I teach more, I pare back, if I teach less or equivelant to my ‘norm,’ I go by feel. If I feel good, I’ll try and hit that fourth run of the week, if I am tired,  I may not. Or maybe I’ll – gasp – cut a run short. Something I NEVER would have done a year ago. I’d think about that number too much. Now I have not a clue how far I run usually, unless I know the route already (and I never usually look at the mileage on the treadmill, but go by length of time, if anything). To me, this is  huge progress. Smarter, not harder, ‘phase two’ – my evolving workouts just work for me, I have never felt better, I feel fit, I feel worked, but I don’t feel exhausted, *too* sore (in a bad way, just a good hurts-so-good way) or running on fumes. I feel like I’ve hit the balance I need, and the ‘happy place’ in my mind too. It’s not a constant battle anymore. Compromise does a body good.

Another way? I have eased up – somewhat – on my neat freak attitude. Just a little (‘cmon, this takes time, people, this is a deep seated one!). I actually – gasp – LEFT a dish in the sink overnight soaking and didn’t feel the urge to wash it. As a matter of fact, I completely forgot about it, because I was too engrossed in watching ‘Sideways’ with M (though that movie is somewhat depressing, all of the wine humor and scenery gets me every time), with a cup of tea, curled up on the couch. *That* is much more important than a dirty dish, no? Compromise makes for a less stressy mind, and home.

I’ve also tried to slow down – continually – in my quest to enjoy more each day, and stop stealing my own joy, rushing through the mundane or day to day moments, and tried to enjoy every day, not just weekends, not just when I am with M, or my sisters, or my friends. This one also takes work and concerted effort, but I think the more I focus on it, the more aware and in tune with the ‘in-between’ moments as Jeff Goins would say, I will be. Compromise – choosing battles and calming down – has made me happier day to day.

So, I guess you could say I am feeling pretty peaceful right now, I am allowing for compromise, and imperfection, and simply, just changing my way of thinking just a little, and it’s going a long way.

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14 thoughts on “On compromise and allowing for imperfection

  1. You left a dish in the sink soaking overnight because you got caught up in a depressing movie (Sideways rocks btw, I own it)? I think I’m so proud I just felt a tear well up. Seriously though, this was a funny post. I think you are doing great.

  2. Its funny because I have mastered the “smarter, not harder” when it comes to work but I am such a control freak in my personal life, but I’m trying to learn to “let go” too and stop being so OCD, which is why I just love this post.

    I downloaded Jeff Goins book to my Kindle but I haven’t started it yet – saving it for Christmas vacation!

  3. Ok I HAVE to giggle at the head nod comment. And we’ll leave it at that. ;-)

    I am REALLY proud of you for focusing on this ‘problem’ of yours (and uh hi, I have the SAME PROBLEM with being Type A, I am not denying this!) and honestly, its inspiring to ME to let go more and more. The dish story really got me, believe it or not, because I STILL cannot walk away from a dirty dish. Maybe this is a good project for me to focus on…hmmm.

    I totalllllly agree on the workouts though, I think we’ve both hit our stride, a great cadence between teaching workouts and ‘me’ workouts and learning when to pull back on the ‘me’ workouts when teaching takes priority as it does from time to time. And the running thing is so spot-on, I don’t EVER think about miles anymore, just enjoy the freedom of the fresh air and my legs working beneath me. The best feeling ever. SO freeing too. No numbers, no nada.

    1. knew you would like that comment sis – LOL.

      But I do think you could take a page from this too. You put so much stress on yourself for unecessary reasons, just like I do and there comes a point where you just gotta let it go! try it with the dishes. I dare you :) baby steps!!

      Workouts – I totally agree. We have hit our sweet spot, finally! We are good at tempering our excitement and workouts too, which is awesome :)

  4. i have a confession. The hardest thing for me is the dish thing. Why? Because it’s something i can control right now, the only thing. ha! and i am learning that a little dirt don’t hurt. right?

    1. Aww! Well, for YOU my friend, I can totally see why that would make you feel better and have some semblance of control!! I think that’s actually ok, in your case :) XOXO

  5. Okay, so I may have been (and still am to some degree) a type A controller, but personally I have found that once life gets too busy to ‘do it all’ (in my case when I had a child and a blended family), something had to give. Dishes in the sink? No problem. Well, even if they do still make me a bit off kilter, it isn’t worth it. And besides, if I am always the one hurrying to clean them, other people in my house are happy to let me and will never develop the initiative to do them themselves. Exercise, yeah, I know it’s wonderful and I feel better and stronger, and I used to carve out time for that and am now trying to do that again. But the bottom line is, compromise just happens in the long run. It is a given. It’s okay to be more mindful of it, but it WILL happen on it’s own and take you along for the ride. And if you refuse ‘the ride’ you pretty much end up type A unhappy anyway, so just realize that something has to give in order to keep the balance in life, so it might as well be the wellspring of minutia that life brings to the table every day.
    I am not saying you don’t have a busy life. You undoubtedly do! Just that as life moves on, compromise happens just like waves happen in an ocean. So go easy on you.

    1. Aw, Ginny, you raise some really good points. I am learning more and more to let stuff go, and not put undue pressure on myself. It doesn’t all have to be perfect or just so, stuff can slide. It’s called life happens, right? I loved your comment :)

  6. Man, I was shaking my head at the dish thing, but also completely understanding. I sometimes leave dishes in the sink, but for the most part, I just love having a clean kitchen. My thing is Eric’s clothes draped over the dining chairs. I really need to “let it go”. Work in progress right?

  7. I think that those little signs? Those little compromises are often the hardest ones to make because it the start, you know? I’m so proud of you (says the fellow Type-Aer).

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