On authenticity and being real.

I’ve been mulling over a post for a few days (ever have a spark of an idea as you are drifting off to sleep, only to forget the gist of it in the morning and wish you had written it down. Yeah, that.) on authenticity and being real. I think one of the biggest misnomers of social media is how fake and unauthentic it can be, and that can bleed over into ‘real life.’ In a way, I am sick of seeing the bandwagoners, those that hop onto a trend or ‘thing’ in fitness or in eating, or in whatever the thing-du-jour is on instagram or snapchat or Facebook, and suddenly, it’s all you see or hear about for weeks on end. Until the next ‘thing’ hits.

I never want to be one of those people (and pray that nobody is reading this and thinking that I *am* one of those!).

I never want to do something just because someone else does. Or follow a trend, or ‘diet’ or do something that is completely the opposite of *me* as possible.

I am a runner, but I am not a racer. If I suddenly dove into races, that wouldn’t be *me*.

I have my ‘happy number’ of calories I shoot for day to day, but if I suddenly ‘went paleo,’ that wouldn’t be *me*.

I love to help inspire others with my own journey, in life, love (divorce and after!) and fitness (b94lyf!), and offer my words of advice based on my experience, not based on what so-and-so told me or what I read, even. But on my own experience solely.  If I didn’t base my advice based on my experiences solely, that wouldn’t be *me* either.

And sometimes, I see so many bandwagoners that regurgitate trends, that talk the talk (but don’t want the walk), and are just carbon copies of whatever trend is out there, that I shake my head and get frustrated.

I guess that’s partially why I stepped away from my blog and some aspects of social media for awhile, and why I tend to pop in to Twitter, or this blog, or a handful of other blogs I read now (vs the many many I used to read) for the sake of taking a step back and getting back to basics. Looking for the real. Keeping my own authenticity and not getting caught up in whatever was buzzing at that moment.

I speak to these areas above – running, fitness, eating, life/love, as these are the areas that I am most passionate about, and alternatively, that I am most sensitive to being as authentic and real about as possible.  And when I see stuff that isn’t real or authentic, I get irritated.

And I don’t even know what the point of my post here is, except to just get it out, my quiet frustrations, and my own re-upped commitment to being real, not sugarcoating and being real…perfectly imperf

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ect. Why does it just seem that it is so hard for others to do sometimes?  (note: this isn’t aimed at any specific instance of late, just my general observation overall, and winding back to why I stepped back for awhile).

As the year starts winding to a close, I say, let’s do it, let’s put it all out there, the good, the bad, the ugly, the imperfect, and own it. Because life’s too short to fake a life that isn’t real. What’s the point in that, when we are only robbing ourselves?

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21 thoughts on “On authenticity and being real.

  1. Wow I love this post! Refreshing honesty and I am feeling empowered to embrace authenticity for 2014. Thank you for sharing!

  2. I feel like that too. For me, a lot of it has to do with changing priorities, but I have no use for blogs that feel like ads for products anymore. Nor do I for tweets to product brands. Though I still embrace a healthy lifestyle (as much as I can during pregnancy, even though I’m currently not allowed to exercise), I feel like a lot of bloggers talk about things that I just don’t care about anymore. Maybe I’m just old!

    (Im obviously not talking about you!)

    1. Priorities, for sure, those have changed. and my interests in what I feel like reading, and when, has too. So that ties in too. and it just brought me back to basics, I think. Similar to your point!

  3. ya, i sooooo relate. I don’t want to follow trends, i want to be me! which means ENJOY the fullness of the present life and passions. And sometimes that means stepping back. Like you! I heart you so!

  4. Amen to this! Gosh, I am so over it. I think the biggest issue is the fitfluential campaigns. I actually don’t mind them…that much. Except, that they do a huge push of the same product and then I really do feel like people lose their credibility when it comes to the products. I like when people talk about things they like, but I know it’s not real when EVERYONE is pimping the same products. UGH! Love this post my friend! Perfect topic.

    Oh and I’m not a race girl either. I will do them occasionally, but I just love to run! I don’t want the pressure of races. I’m not a competitor…except with myself, but we have discussed that stinky topic. ;)

    1. Yea, it becomes product fatigue after awhile…and makes you wonder what the driver is behind it, beyond the obvious, ya know? Races, yes, so not me. Never say never, I guess, but I compete with me only, sometimes to my detriment hehe, as we both know, but I’d rather compete with me than anyone else!

  5. For me, I appreciate the bloggers who share real talk so much more than the ones who have fancy websites, a fancy “brand” and a zillion followers. Blogging lost so much appeal when it stopped being about sharing your story and started being about branding and generating revenue. Blech! You have no idea how many times I’ve contemplated quitting blogging because I’m so tired of seeing it at every turn. And yet… :)

    FWIW, I don’t see you that way at all. Your social media presence radiates who you are, and it’s obvious that it’s not a trend or for page views. I’ve never taken a barre class in my life (I’d love to!), but I enjoy seeing your pictures on Instagram and seeing what you’re up to as an instructor. I don’t have to do it myself to enjoy hearing about it. That said, there are other fitness and diet trends that are talked about TO DEATH that I’m tired of hearing about. The way it’s shared makes it come across as holier than thou and “I’m so awesome because I do this.”

    I’ve always told myself I write for me, and no one else. Some friends keep up with my blog and that’s great, but if someone doesn’t like it, they don’t have to read it. There is an incredible amount of freedom in reminding ourselves of that too. Unfollow, unfriend, unsubscribe. FREEDOM!

    XO – because I love you.

    1. And I love YOU too! Thank you for such a heartfelt and thoughtful comment. I think it is all about basics, simplicity, being who we are day to day, no facade, no pretenses. Not just here, but in life too. Just SIMPLIFY! ANd thank you for your kind words friend, about me and about my passion for barre workouts!! I agree with you on that front too, some fitness trends are trends because they work (like my belief in barre workouts for that reason!) and others are more based on trend and popularity and you are ‘it’ if you do this workout.Who cares. Do whatever workout you want because you want to, no other reason.

      Anyway, I agree, doesn’t matter who’s reading, how often, or not, I write for me. Same! XO!

    1. Thanks friend! I know you are on the same page too! I don’t care how many readers I have either, same with friends, I don’t need or want to be popular, I want to be me.

  6. very well said!!! I agree I’m a runner, not a racer and it took me some time to understand that it’s ok for me to love running just because not because of a race. Great share!!! And yes I really hate when I forget a post I wrote in my head.

    1. Thank you so much!! I am so glad you ‘get what I mean about the running/racing thing. I used to think I wanted to do races but anytime I did them, I ran horribly and hated it, I run so much happier now :)

  7. I love love love this post friend! It drives me crazy when I see that – the jumping from one trend to another. When I first started to really get into social media and blogging, it was so easy to get caught up in so many of the fads or what everyone else was doing and I realized that was not me and didn’t make sense of me. I love this and how you are simplifying and getting back to basics. I am definitely moving in that direction for sure and I love hearing your thoughts on this.

    PS – absolute worst when you have an awesome idea right before you go to sleep and can’t for the life of you remember what the hell it was in the morning!!

    1. I am so glad you see where I am going with this and agree! I love your posts because they are real and honest, and YOU! I just think with anything, life of above all, should be simple and basic. otherwise, it loses so much meaning. You get caught up in ‘stuff’ and complexity! and PS I still can’t remember the full gist of that blog post! figures!

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  9. Can I cosign this ;)? There are definitely many instances in which someone isn’t being their authentic self online. Then, there are those expectations of us or others that arise because of online interactions. All we can do is just be our best selves as often as we can. xoxo

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