February 21, 2009 – 5 years later.

I just happened to look at the date and realized that today is five years since I started blogging (how fitting, on my 500th blog on this blog, my ‘newer’ blog over the past five years).

Five years since I began a journey that I had no idea where it would take me, literally, but also here, in this little space of mine.

I had no idea how many people I would connect with, how many of those people I now consider very good ‘blends,’ – from attending their wedding in Mexico, to a summer weekend ‘upta camp,’ to visits in Atlanta, Austin, Chicago, New York City, Costa Mesa, Vegas, and even right here in Boston.

I had no idea what I would discover about myself as a result of blogging, in sharing my story of divorce, discovery, renewal, and love, found, yet again.

I had no idea of the connections I would make as a result of my passion for fitness, the barre (n9ne!) running, my relationship with food and my body, and being a fitness instructor.  Again, literally, and also in processing my feelings, thoughts, emotions and milestones.

Five years. 

I continue to go back to that feeling of realizing what a difference time really makes. And what a difference your life can look like as time spans on, especially as you take that life and shape it into a life you are proud of, and a life that feels fulfilled, happy and full of joy, love, and that (sometimes elusive) feeling of balance and peace.

Looking back? My first blog post on my old blog:

There, I said it. I’m 29 and I’m getting divorced. Never thought I’d be saying it or living it, to be honest. I decided to start a blog as I go through this journey because though it has only been about three months since this all started, I’ve gone through some massive changes and I thought a blog would be a great way to share my experience with those going through it, but also because there really aren’t any blogs out there that talk about divorce and moving on in your life with a very positive vibe. I see plenty that are all about looking back and wishing life had never changed, or being bitter about being abandoned by their former spouse. And, to be honest, I thought I’d fall into that camp as well, but I haven’t. I’ve really taken this time to figure out what I want in my life and have learned so much already, I can’t imagine where life will take me!

Whoa. So weird to read those words and picture exactly where I was sitting when I wrote them.

And the last post on that blog, in part:

I’m proud of her ,and who she’s become. And while I am letting her go in favor of the me I am now, she has shaped me into who I am today. I’m damn proud. I don’t care if this post sounds a bit indulgent…I know it probably does, but after getting through the difficulties of divorce and all of the baggage that comes with it (poor finances, loss of a house, lack of confidence, sadness and loss), I’m not her anymore.

I’m me…renewed.

And I thank you all for joining me in my journey and allowing me to share in yours. Cheers, friends.

“There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind. But keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.”

And that, my friends, is exactly the sentiment I stand behind day in and day out, be proud of your past, the ups and downs, the strife, the learning, and then let go of it and move on.

Live the life you were meant to lead. 

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14 thoughts on “February 21, 2009 – 5 years later.

  1. Love this. You’ve come a long way. It’s so great to be able to look back and see that and appreciate it.

    It’s funny, these last few weeks I’ve spent a lot of time looking back on my old blog posts….smiling at the happy memories and being amazed at how far I’ve come. I’m so grateful that I have the blog…such a great reminder of all that I have to be thankful for.

    Sounds like you feel the same way. :-)

    xo

    1. it really is good to look back and appreciate the path along the way, isn’t i t? I love looking at old blogs sometimes, to remember and recapture some of that. It sure is a boost of perspective, no matter what! XO

  2. You are NOT that woman. You aren’t even a shadow of her. You are an amazing, incredible, inspiring, beautiful strong YOU, a you that you were always meant to be. Amazing sis, just amazing what you’ve done in five years, I am so proud of you, but most of all, so damn HAPPY for where you’ve come and gone and where you are bound to go. Love you!! xoxo

    1. isn’t it crazy how different day 1, five years ago was? Thanks sis, you’ve been on this journey with me from the very first moment, you and Jen both have and I am forever grateful for our sisterhood <3

  3. 5 years already?! It’s crazy isn’t it? I can’t imagine these past several years without my blog. I love going back and seeing how far I’ve come. Self-indulgent or not, it keeps pushing me forward.

    Very proud of you!!

    xxoo

    1. seriously crazy! you are definitely one of my longest blog friends (Sunshine too!) and I love that we have shared so much of our journeys here, together. I agree, I don’t care if it is self-indulgent either, sometimes you need it. XOXO

  4. You know, even in the short amount of time that I have known you, you have gone through some incredible changes and how comfortable and confident you are and that just shines through everything. Love this and so glad that you have shared your journey with all of us because it’s helped me to reflect so much in the past two years. xox

    1. aww thank you so much Christine!! that means so much to hear. And I feel like it’s been more than what, two years or so, since we connected? Life has been amazing, for both of us, I would say :) xo

  5. Letting go can be a very interesting process, and I have been doing a lot of it myself over the last six months or so. As part of that I’m actually seriously considering starting afresh with a brand-new blog and building it all up again from scratch, having abused my existing one and used it as a punching bag due to a whole swathe of negative personal experiences, to the point that I kind of want to leave it – and the negative experiences it carried me through – behind. Like you said, I’m not HER anymore.

    (Oh, and the blog this comment is linked to is kind of part of that transistion away from the old negativity, but I have deliberately chosen to keep it anonymous. But I am a long-term reader of yours! :) )

    1. ohhh, my interest is piqued on your identity, long-time reader!! I love the idea of a fresh start. It was hard for me at first, to change mine and start fresh, but it felt so right, at the same time. You are who you are NOW, not THEN, so it makes so much sense to do!

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