Determined. To Be…

…a runner, a sister, a lover…living a fit and happy life.

Category Archives: life


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FEF: 5 things I won’t miss about moving.

It’s FEF this week, folks (finally effing Friday, for those that haven’t read these funny posts before. Hehe). And on this gorgeous Friday morning, where honestly, the week treated me pretty well (totally embracing being home this week since I was initially supposed to travel to Vegas for all of a hot second, but that got canceled, yay!).

But as we collect boxes and begin getting serious (in mode: GSD aka get sh*t done!) about packing for our move that is just about 3 weeks away (wheeee! ahhhhh! yayyyy!), it occurred to me there there are a few things I won’t miss about moving for this apartment that we’ve lived in together for almost two years.

I won’t miss, um, moving. No, really, I won’t. I’ve moved four times in the last four years and I am all SET with moving right about now. From the boxes, to the upheaval to routine, to the mess that just naturally comes with moving (sh*t everywhere, trying to figure out what to keep, what to toss, and what to pack and when to pack WHAT). This move, though, signifies more than just the end of this streak of constant moving, but the start of where our story continues, and in that sense? I am embracing moving and all the sh*t that entails as much as possible.

I won’t miss lugging groceries up three flights of stairs. It never fails – I go to the store for ‘two things’ and come home with 5 bags, and 5 heavy bags at that (including a whole watermelon, kabocha squash, two seltzers and a bunch of cat food) and naturally want to carry all of that, plus my giant iced coffee in one trip. I attempt it, swear at myself as the bags dig into my arms as I teeter up the stairs trying not to drop anything, then try to unlock the door without putting anything down (why I can’t just put the bags down, I have no idea…or make two freaking trips up the stairs!), struggle to unlock the door, half unlock it, doesn’t open, and then have to try again, all whilst swearing at myself and hoping no bag breaks and my coffee doesn’t spill everywhere, only to drag everything into the hallway, where one bag proceeds to break (thankfully just the bag broke, and it didn’t include any seltzer that would then splatter everywhere!).  I typically tend to ‘time’ grocery shopping trips for when M will begrudging go with me, and then *he* tries to be the groceries hero and bring about 20 bags up those three flights of stairs. Nothing short of comical….and sweaty, every.single.time.

I won’t miss paying rent. When I first moved into an apartment, it was my first apartment ever. I had lived at college, but moved home after, and then moved right into a house when I got married the first time (I feel fortunate that I was able to do that – not live in apartments for the last 10ish years!). So this was my first experience paying rent and that feeling of ‘oh, this money is going nowehere’ feeling every single month, vs. a mortgage, where you are at least paying FOR something you get to ultimately keep ;-)

I won’t miss our tiny pantry. While I admit that this is the first time I have HAD a pantry, it’s almost useless as it is super narrow, and horribly organized (if you can even call it organized). I probably say this because I eye the big walk-in pantry we will have at our new house and will soon become wayyyyy too used to having it. (I admit that will feel super spoiling!)

I won’t miss highway noise. Our complex is set against a golf course, which is quite pretty, but behind that is a major highway. I don’t mind a little road noise, I find it comforting, in a way, but with all the windows open in the spring and summer, it is almost ALL you can hear, especially at night. Nothing more romantic, or awakening, too, than a loud Mac truck rumbling down the highway at 2 am ;-)

This post is really meant to be funny, more than anything, and in jest, as honestly, this apartment has treated us very well over the years. You notice I did not say noisy neighbors, annoying complex management or random fees etc., because there just hasn’t been any issues while living here. It’s been quiet, private and really the best ‘next step’ towards a house  that we could ask for. It’ll be surreal to move and leave this home, but at the same time? So very exciting, I can hardly contain myself. Blessed.

Cheers friends, happy weekend.


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On travels…and wow, this is really happening.

I came back from our whirlwind Northern and Southern California travels and kind of didn’t know which end was up!

From wine tastings, fabulous dinners and even a little sun, to a long-awaited epic meetup (with the beautiful Heather AND Dorry!), showing M around my work digs and well, working, it felt like quite the 7 day excursion!

A little taste of our week:

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Only to come home and realize…holy wow, this is really happening. In less than 30 days, we will move into our home that will become the next stage in our lives for as long as…who knows. The longevity and permanence, in a way, of this move is finally starting to sink in, and let me tell you, it just feels pretty incredible.

Every time I start to get overwhelmed with the thought of packing and moving, I take a step back and smile.

Every time I start to think of our future together as we continue planning  our marriage, I take a step back and smile (even bigger!).

Every time I start to think about my life and how firmly planted right where I am meant to be, I smile (the biggest).

This life has truly taught me so much over the last (almost) five years, I cannot even put into words. All I can do is continue to be grateful, continue to step back and continue to thank God for the life he has now put in front of me.

Cheers friends, have a fantastic weekend. <3

 

 


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On running, tragedy, and inspiration.

I almost chose not to write a post about yesterday’s Boston Marathon tragedy, but the more I read, the more blogs, tributes and gestures, the more I fall in love with running even more than I ever thought I could.

Because I’ve always been teetering on the fence of love-to-run and love-to-hate-to-run, despite my best efforts to get rid of the ‘hate,’ there are still days I struggle. With breathing, with pace, with ‘in my head-ness’ and it makes me wonder if I’ll ever love the sport as much as others will.

But the truth is? It doesn’t matter. And it never will. 

What matters is that I do it because I DO love it, at the heart of it, because it is the one sport, I truly believe, that never gets any easier, no matter if you are an elite, a jogger, or somewhere in between. You run because it is a challenge. Every.single.time. There is no such thing as an ‘easy’ run. (despite those that call their runs an ‘easy run day…’). You may run with ease, but the act of running itself? Not. Easy. Ever.

But my point with all of this is…after yesterday’s tragedy, I honestly don’t know that I have seen a community come together as quick as this, to respond, react, support. From instagram, to Twitter, to Facebook, to tributes, to candlelight vigils, to worldwide support in every single way…there it was. And it was, and still is, beautiful. Every single time I come across something else beautiful, in light of tragedy.

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This quote (Runner’s World):

“It’s the only sport in the world where if a competitor falls, the others around will pick him or her up. It’s the only sport in the world open to absolutely everyone, regardless of gender, age, ethnicity or any other division you can think of. It’s the only occasion when thousands of people assemble, often in a major city, for a reason that is totally peaceful, healthy and well-meaning. It’s the only sport in the world where no one ever boos anybody.”

This act of kindness.

And this ‘virtual’ run that has spread so quickly, so virally. And you better believe I ran this morning. M and I ran and ran, in silence, our longest run since the fall. It was tough. I was in my head at the start, but by the end, I felt accomplished, happy, and in a way, paying it forward.

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Take a minute. Pay it forward. Tell someone you love them. Run. Walk. Smile. Do something. Be inspired today, and take one step in front of the other, onward.

 

 


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Could it really be?

Five years, (almost) since my journey truly began?

One that was born out of divorce, that brought me to the here and now?

As I thought about what  I wanted to post today for a barre n9ne studio instagram challenge we are doing (#b9thinkspring – 7 days of photos, from favorite pre-workout snack, to spring accessory, to someone that inspires you, to something you are thankful for), there was no question about it: I give thanks for my life, this life, the one I am living each and every day, the life I have lived  as true to self as I ever have, since that day in October 2008 where my (now) ex-husband told me he wanted a divorce.

Five years. Just about five years ago?

I have no words. Just this quote, which pretty much sums it up.

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Happy weekend friends…I hope you are thankful too, for wherever you are in life, for wherever it has brought you, for who you are, as a result. Be inspired.

 


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On permanence and living.

As we get closer and closer to moving into our new home, I start to think more and more about the permanence of buying a new home and what it signifies, in many ways.

The first time I bought a house, I was 26/27, and the thought of living in a house for 10, 20, 30 years didn’t dawn on me. It felt like a ‘starter home’ (a phrase that seems so ancient nowadays where buying a home seems to be a much bigger deal than it used to be, when prices were dirt cheap and you could buy, just to get into the market, and not wait and wait and look and look till you find a just-right home that you can grow into and stay in for a long time).

Now, fast forward 7 years and the reality is, this home will likely be ours for the long haul. Whether that’s 10, 15, 20 years, who knows, but it is a home we *can* grow into, (possibly) start a family, and dig our heels in and really live in. And that is such an incredible feeling. Yet, at the same time, it’s a little scary. In 10 years, I’ll be 43. In 15 years, I’ll be 48, In 20 years, I’ll be 53. Those numbers seem daunting. Those years seem far away, yet also fleeting. Those years also feel permanent and far away, yet thisclose, at the very same time.

I never understood what others meant when they said life goes much faster the older you get. But it is SO TRUE. Think about it. We are already into April of 2013. Wasn’t it *just* New Year’s Eve? Wasn’t it JUST summer 2012? WHERE does time go? It is fleeting.

Life is fleeting.

It is not meant to be lived in spurts. It is not meant to be lived in ‘can’t wait’ mode. It is not meant to be lived in ‘silver linings’ of the week days that sometimes drone on, while the weekends fly by. It is meant to be lived in every minute, of every day, no matter how craptastic, or how wonderful that minute, hour, day is.

Yet, I find myself constantly battling this feeling of looking forward. Can’t waiting for the many things in store for me, and for us. It’s natural to, I suppose, but at the same time, it rips me off of the hear and now. Of my mantra to just BE, this year.

So, as we move closer to our next stage in life together, in building our proverbial – and literal – home together, my vow is to really try and take in each moment, not rush, rush, rush to the next. I know I’ll falter here and there, but I think this is one of the only ways life will feel like it’s slowing down, and I am appreciating the here and now just as much as the future filled with promise, blessings and happiness.

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