Determined. To Be…

…a runner, a sister, a lover…living a fit and happy life.

Category Archives: Living with M


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On quietness and being.

Welp, the minute I sit down to finally write a post, I write it and it dissapears :/

It’s been two weeks since the move.

It’s been two weeks (almost) since my last post (!).

It’s been a blur of a two weeks. A blur of a few months. And I am trying my damnest to simplify, to be, to enjoy these special moments, this special time in my life.

But I just wish I had more hours in the day. I feel settled…yet not settled, because there’s never enough time. (if that makes any sense). And I start to get frustrated with myself. Like this morning, thinking of the week and weekend ahead and all I want to do. And then I read this, from Joel Osteen:

So many people today find themselves caught up in the day-to-day busyness of life, driven to do more in less time. It seems people constantly strive to find ways to cram more into their already overcrowded schedules. But at the same time, God is constantly inviting us to step away from the hectic pace of life and come to Him to find rest for our souls. He invites us to be still before Him, to get quiet so we can hear His voice and set our hearts and minds at peace.

As much as I try to de-crowd, it’s still crowded. I need to prioritize even more. I need to let come to the surface the big things, not the ‘obligations’ or things I feel like I HAVE to do, and just do those that are important to do. And to embrace the chaos right now, as I am surrounded by the family and friends that would go to the ends of the earth and back for me (and vice versa) and a man that I love from the bottom of my heart, and to the tips of my toes. A man I cannot wait to marry and see where our lives take us, together, united.

And for now, I am going to do my best to juggle the two jobs I am doing as my boss is on maternity leave (great timing with moving too, right? #sarcasm), and use this as an opportunity to grow, and learn, and practice simplifying in my job as well, focusing on the big tasks, and not worrying SO much about the little. Staying in GSD mode and tackling the challenge <–that is my daily pep talk to myself!

…sorry for such a rambling post, but it’s what’s swirling right now, and what I need to really focus on. I have a feeling I am not the only one who needs this, and this reminder. So, friends, simplify, quiet yourself, and just be…it’s worth the challenge.

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On moving: the best journey leads us…home.

Home.

We feel at home here already, in so many ways.

We sat down – finally – on Monday night and looked around…pictures on the walls (some still waiting to be hung), two kitties snuggling on our new couch ottoman (the thing is ginormous and I love it!), and looked at each other, and just breathed. Almost an exhale of…we’re home. And it was the first time we had not a thing to do, at that very moment. No packing, no boxes to stare at, waiting to be filled. No logistics to line up. No electric, or cable or phone company to call to schedule installation. No paperwork to sign, fax, mail. Nothing.

Just to sit and….be.

And now, just about a week since we closed on our home, we *are* home. This IS home. I have been walking around grinning like a fool, and every time I walk into our kitchen, I think ‘holy crap, this is OUR kitchen? Are you sure we aren’t just on vacation and have to leave soon?!’. Every time I walk anywhere in the house and realize how far apart things are, how much space we have, I marvel. I think about how far we have come. I think about my first home, too, and how I thought *that* was home…and how very much home has never felt more right than ever. And I look at M’s face and I’ve never seen more pride and joy in his eyes. And he – close to tears – on moving night, happy, joyful, feeling blessed.  We are feeling blessed.

This home is our hearts and souls, our lives, our journey. Home is us. 

(and now…a few pictures…first floor and outside…)

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On moving: the details.

Moving.

Is. Quite. The. Process.

Especially to a house.

From an apartment.

The last week has been an utter blur and trying to recap *there* to *here* seems rather difficult.

The last night…Friday, May 31 was a hectic evening. It wasn’t how I pictured it, in terms of sitting back, glass of wine, recapping our memories of the last (almost) two years. It was filled with moving boxes, M’s parents coming over to the house to help with some things, some anxious moments (by me, of course. har, har.), and then a restless night’s sleep. Thinking, anxious, praying that the day would run smoothly.

6 am wake up on Saturday morning. I bound out of bed and am giddily excited, yet nervous. Praying the movers show up (they do. Whew). Hoping the weather isn’t too hot (it is, a scorching 94 degrees with loads of humidity).

The morning runs as smoothly as I could have imagined. Movers haul and we have everything in (or so I *thought*) by 11:15 am. I am happily unpacking boxes. My mom has come over and is documenting the move in pictures and keeping our kitties comfy holed up in one of the spare bedrooms as the movers get everything in. The alarm guy comes and installs. The cable/internet guys come and get that all situated. We are feeling *golden* and then…M decides to head over to the apartment to gather the ‘last few things’ he had left at the house (including our oh-so-precious wine club wines!) and bam, it all goes to hell in a handbasket (#dramatic).

In true “M” fashion, he has vastly underestimated how many boxes and random items are left at the house. As I’m farting around putting books away and more clothes, he finally texts me and admits the  job is far too big for just him. It’s about 5 pm at this point (an hour and a half after he left to gather the ‘few’ things) and we have been going almost 12 hours, in scorching heat, sweat pouring down our faces all.day.long.

Bam. Meltdown mode.

I walk into the apartment and there is a sh*tload of stuff left. A printer, four boxes of wine, HALF of his clothes still in the closet on hangers, three bags of trash, Christmas ornaments. Let’s just say the next 30 mins were not my finest ;-) We agree to load my car up, load his, and then he’d go back after and get what he thought would be one more load, and I would hit the grocery store. Welp, another FIVE car loads later, M is finally home. rolling in around 8 pm, almost passed out from exhaustion and dehydration (I am not far behind…). But in that time, I loaded up on groceries, some of his favorite treats (as a ‘forgive me for being a jerk’ truce!) and we finally sat down, bone-weary, legs aching, and had our first meal in our new home.

And despite all of that day’s events, we were home.

And that is all that mattered at that very moment.

…to be continued…

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The last run.

All week I have been thinking about it. The last run…

…and our running routes.

The ones we carved out together almost two years ago, and have run, and run, and run some more, in the spring, summer, fall and winter (ish months…I did try to get out there when it was about 40!).

And how today would be our last run along these streets that we’ve grown to love. And the routes we’ve learned to conquer, as there are several doozy hills, and a few smaller ‘ankle biter’ hills that *always* get me way more than the doozies (why is that, anyway? the smaller incline hills kill me way more than the steep inclines sometimes…but I digress).

And how it wasn’t so much the fact that it was literally our last run along these streets…

But how this run sort of encapsulates the last two years of our relationship. How much we have grown. How much we have learned. How much we have grown closer than ever. And how much we have laughed, lived and loved every single minute of these two years, and all of those runs.

From ‘run sherpa’ing’ for my sister’s marathon and running my own 13.1, to an accidental 11 mile run, to bunny sightings and the ‘rules‘ and to run-mesia. All of those runs took place here. All of those runs took place side by side, funny anecdotes to boot, and all of those runs made me realize how M is my sherpa, in so many ways. From running, to life. He is my partner in every single way.

The last run today was nostalgic in many ways, of the running variety and of life…and where it’s leading us.  The last run is the precursor to the last night, which I plan to document too. Just like I did when I moved out of my apartment and in with M almost two years ago.

…where our (run) story continues… <3

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File under: Sunday randoms.

I have so much swirling in my brain and sometimes I just gotta lay it out there, whether or not it makes sense, or is all that disclosive.

File under: secrets

It’s no secret that I am marrying M. It *is* a secret when. And it’s kinda starting to kill me because there is so much I want to share, but at the same time? I can’t wait to unveil it (no pun intended!) when it actually does happen.  I just need to sear the details into my brain, or into a draft post for later, yes? I just stare into M’s eyes every so often and think “I can’t wait to be his wife.” and just feel so blessed and excited and happy. And it makes the road from ‘there’ to ‘here’ more than worth it. MORE than worth it. <3 Gah…<3

File under: operation MOVE!

We’re in countdown mode, folks! ONE more weekend living in this apartment, and less than TWO weeks until we move. It’s just crazy to me. We are surrounded by boxes (40 by my count and more to come!), we’re finalizing details for painters, and movers, and utilities and mail forwarding and it’s starting to feel so real. I cannot believe we will be homeowners. I cannot believe we will be building the next stage of our lives together so so soon. I cannot believe it is finally happening. <3

File under: ouchie-like-whoa

Yesterday, we, at barre n9ne studio, FINALLY got to experience POUND, training for 8 hours yesterday, with lots of sweat, lots of excitement and…lots of pain. holy OW do I hurt today.  I feel muscles I didn’t realize I had (who knew your hands and wrists could hurt so much from gripping weighted drumsticks aka ripsticks could HURT so badly the next day!), I have struggled to sit down on the couch, and never mind trying to get off the couch or get out of the car, I practically need a walker! Suuuuch pain and soreness, but soooo worth it! As my sister documented in her post, yesterday was the first step towards our bringing this fantastic, unique and supremely bada** workout to the studio and it’s going to be an amazing complement to barre (and running!).

File under: when ‘roughhousing’ with kitties goes awry.

As some of you may have already seen on instagram, one of my kitties, my beloved Nala, injured herself last Sunday. What, you ask? You see, M and Nala play ‘toss the kitty’ and love to rough house, and well, let’s just say that went slightly awry last Sunday, when she landed on the bed wrong and immediately limped away. Upon vet visit on Monday morning (worried kitty mom like whoa!), my Nala had a torn ligament in her right knee…also known as a torn ACL. Can you believe it? My Nals now walks with a limp and seems pretty good beyond that limp, but note to M: be careful ;-) (he felt soooo bad, he’s been babying her ever since!)

So there ya have it, a few thoughts on this Sunday. I haven’t written much lately…in part due to ‘file under: secrets’ and in part due to ‘file under: operation MOVE!’ but, I figure it’s worth a lil update with what’s shaking up in here ;-) Now, back to hobbling through the rest of this Sunday Funday ;-)

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