Tag Archives: family

May30

On the Importance of time and priorities.

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On the Importance of time and priorities.

I read Girlfriends in God every morning (thanks to Lindsay for recommending it!!) and there were two recent passages that really struck home for me. (even if you are not a ‘religious’ type, these devotionals are so good and so right-on almost every single day. Worth a read, I promise!) They both have to do with time and this is a post I have been wanting to write for a couple of weeks, but alas, needed the time to put some thought into it, ironic, isn’t it? (I started this post on my last flight home – plenty of time!)

This passage is what really resonated with me, when it comes to time, priorities, and what’s really important:

We have either forgotten or failed to realize the truth that our minutes, hours and days are precious commodities — gifts from God that can be unwrapped only once…A busy life is not necessarily a productive life.

The author goes on to say that we should choose one day to plan the week (vs. me – who tries to plan, overplan, and plan some more – almost to my detriment, being overplanned and overthinking every plan I have made, throwing me into an OATTing tizzy. A tiring combination).

She also says ‘simplify and eliminate’ – this is something I have learned and keep trying to do more of this. It’s about prioritizing and more importantly, keeping some of that time FREE, not booked to the minute. M always jokes that I plan every minute of our time together. And he’s right. I tend to do that and then it’s just not as fun when I feel like we’re rushing around and not actually enjoying WHAT we planned to do. The picnic we had recently was a perfect example of a plan that was not planned. Something we did with no ‘end time’ in sight. Just for as long as we wanted. We laid in the grass, my head on his chest and just watched the clouds drift through the blue skies.

And finally, THIS is what truly says it all:

If we don’t set priorities — others will. Time thieves will steal our time as we allow them to impose their plans and standards on us. It is so easy to lose focus and scramble priorities.

As I just finished up what feels like a whirlwind 6 weeks of traveling (3 work trips in those 6 weeks!), kick-starting barre n9ne teaching, and a really hectic couple of months of work, I am taking a minute to hit the reset button. Summer is ALWAYS notoriously busy. And, with all fun things, for the most part. Lots of parties, cookouts, Maine, (maybe) the Cape, and more (fun) travel. But with a busy summer can also come that blur of where-did-summer-go and ‘did I even enjoy it as much as I possibly could?‘ feeling. Because, having a busy life, while GOOD, can also have a way of stealing joy out of those times. Just by nature of time, and lack thereof.  (at least for me)

And the final kicker that I NEED to really think about time and priorities? When it took THREE WEEKS to plan a sister dinner, and one that almost got canceled last night at the last minute (where we then realized that if we didn’t keep to our original plan, it was at least another two weeks until we could book our dinner again…for sisters that all live within 20-30 miles of each other? That is simply wrong.). And that sister dinner we had last night? One of the best nights we’ve had together, just us, in a very long time. A dinner we now vow to do on the first Tuesday of every month (hold us to it, ok?!).

So, this is me. Stopping. Thinking. Prioritizing. And keeping time open. Because sometimes, the best things happen when they are unplanned. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure the BEST things happen when they aren’t planned.

May29

((weekend)) — a weekend I could hug.

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((weekend)) — a weekend I could hug.

This weekend lived up to all I had hoped it would, and more. It was one of those perfect summer weekends, the ones that you never want to end, where the weather is perfect, everything you do is absolutely fantastic and you walk around in one of those blissful, goofy-grinned euphoric hazes.

This weekend was one of those weekends where I yet again am reminded of the fortunate, blessed, happy live I have built for myself and continue to cultivate. One that I vow never to take for granted.

This weekend was a weekend I could hug. And perhaps marry, but I think M might have an issue with that ;-)

So, here are some pictures from this ((weekend)) <- a weekend I could hug.

Kick-started with a birthday bash for my brother in law’s 35th. My sis throws one HELL of a party.

Got to spend time with THIS girl, Samantha (Running and Cupcakes) and we had SO much fun!

Also spent LOTS of time with Steph, a b9 bestie, at this party, at her beach and impromptu dinner surf-and-turf style (scallops, lamb and steak tips!) on Sunday too!

I couldn’t have been prouder as an auntie to see my beautiful niece playing with the ‘big kids’ (my BIL’s nieces and nephews) like a pro. She was an absolute doll!

First trip to the beach, and you gotta take a ‘toes in the sand’ pic, right? Though I burned the shiznat out of my tummy, I look like a lobster! Oops!

Our pool opened at our complex on Monday, so we parked ourselves poolside for much of the afternoon. Blissful, perfect weather, despite about 40 kids running around ;)

Spent as much time as possible reconnecting with M after being away last week. I don’t think I stopped smiling all weekend long <3

And that is just a glimpse into my weekend, which also featured teaching three barre n9ne classes, getting in a couple of great (hot and humid!) runs, scoring some great deals at lululemon and feeling refreshed today. How was your weekend? I hope it was blissful in some capacity…but from all the tweets, FB posts and blogs I have seen so far, it looks like it was a weekend to hug all around!

Apr30

Stories that Define Me: on friendship.

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Stories that Define Me: on friendship.

*This is the seventh in my mini-series on stories of my past that define me. I’ll write these periodically, as the ideas flow. Enjoy.*

M remarked to me recently that he feels like I have SO MANY friends. Especially compared to him, as he considers just a few close friends as just that: friends.

I found his statement interesting, because I  too consider myself to have a handful of close friends as well as a circle of all of YOU in this home I’ve cultivated here that truly ‘get’ me. That don’t make me feel compelled to compromise, to censor myself, to walk on eggshells, to feel short-changed. Real, solid, friends. Sister-friends, if you will.

Let’s start at the beginning. 

My very first best friend was a girl I met in Kindergarten. Her name is Tali (and yes, we still keep in touch, though, relatively loosely as she is a missionary in Guatemala and Haiti!) and to this day, I truly believe she is who ‘taught’ me how to have a sense of humor. And to cultivate my own sense of humor, with a dash of wit and sarcasm. She is, to this day, still one of the funniest people I know (and actually, now that I think about it, her humor mirrors M’s quite a bit. I bet they’d get along so well…). But beyond humor, she ‘got’ me, even back when we were 6 or 7 years old. We had each other’s back at the playground, we stood up for each other, and we were always together. She is also one of the first friends I made that I felt was ‘my’ friend and not ‘our’ friend (given my sisters and I shared virtually all of the same friends, often, they were ‘our’ friend, not Jess’s or Jen’s or mine, but Tali? Was my friend first and foremost).

Tali and I stayed close friends all the way through middle school and into high school, even after we were no longer classmates (after fourth grade). But what united us was the ability to pick up where we left off, even if it were one month, one year, or even more. There were never apologies needed. There was never the need to feel like you ‘owed’ each other a reason why it had been awhile since we’d last gotten together. Life simply happens, and when you can keep in touch and get together when you can and really value that time together? That’s friendship. 

And that friendship and what I learned from her over all of those years (reuniting once again after my divorce, and talking all through that, and talking all about her own love and life experiences) really set the tone for what I deem the friendship foundation: mutual respect, love, give-and-take, and simply for it to be effortless. For you both to WANT to make the time for each other, to make each other a priority. To honor each other’s life paths and goals and desires. To listen, and not always immediately advise, or provide an opinion. To laugh. Friendship is happiness, and when it is no longer happy, friendships evolve. 

It took me a long time to realize that friendships evolve and that it’s okay if you come to a point where you realize that you have outgrown a friendship, or that friendship is no longer enjoyable for you, or for them. Where there is more strife, tension and negativity, than laughs, caring and respect.

The friendships I hold dear to me now are those that I consider sister-friends, that ‘get’ me, that understand why I live my life the way that I do, in every single way. Because that’s exactly how I treat those friends as well. Respect what they do, love them for who they are, and that friendship will thrive for as long as it’s meant to.

Apr22

A surprise party…in pictures.

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A surprise party…in pictures.

While I don’t typically post on weekends, I just had to share some pictures from the surprise party…because it was just, in a word…epic!!

It went off without a hitch and I am still beaming from ear to ear!! And so is M. He was completely shocked, had NO idea, and the best part was his reaction to all of the people that came, from his entire office (including his boss), to his best friend and his other best friend that he hasn’t seen in at least a year, and to our friends that all came to celebrate and congratulate him. He couldn’t believe I was able to pull this off without any hints, without him hearing about it at work, and without my usually-bad poker face not giving it all away.

I loved how he would look at me, shake his head, and ask yet another question (how did you get ‘T’ here?? or how did you get all the beer and wine? And when did you buy all the food? And when did you have time, with the barre n9ne opening this morning? And how long have you been planning this? And, how did I not know?!). I was, admittedly, patting myself on the back all night (hehe) and just thrilled with how well it turned out. (and so so thankful to have had Jess and Steph help me with everything, or I never would have gotten it done!).

So, without further ado, here it is…a surprise party…in pictures (found a cool app to make these into collages!)

Click to play this Smilebox collage
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This picture collage created with Smilebox

(you’ll notice the pictures of me, super duper nervous, waiting for his arrival. I was sweating it out, but it went perfectly!!)

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Photo collage made with Smilebox

(These are so fun group shots I took of everyone. I just loved looking around and seeing so many friends from different walks of his life, all together. And for nobody to have tipped him off to it? Even better!)

Throwing this party two days after I returned from Chicago and the same day as the barre n9ne opening was quite a challenge, and I think by the end of the night, I was running on fumes, but I wouldn’t have changed it for the world. An utterly perfect day. (and more tomorrow on the barre n9ne opening!!). Cheers, friends!

Apr9

Easter weekend, musing-style.

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Easter weekend, musing-style.

I won’t lie…this weekend was a blur. But it was also one that I cherished. For Easter, for family, for friends, for me. Here are some flashes of the weekend, some of the moments that made me laugh, some musings, and even an epiphany or two.

Hosting my first Easter dinner was a huge success. M and I are such a great team when we host. And the food was delish, I really must pat ourselves on the back for that one. Menu? Carrot soup (one of my faves that M makes!), leg of lamb that I marinated in red wine and lemon juice overnight (what compelled us to make our very first leg of lamb for a crowd of 7 is beyond me…thank GOD it came out good!) that was seriously so perfectly cooked, with a red wine reduction, roasted vegetables, potatoes and sweet potatoes in balsamic and olive oil and dill. And a variety of baked goods from my Gram and sister Jen, along with the best orange pudding on the planet – courtesy of Gram. The best part was seeing Grampa eat his right out of the bowl (after everyone else was served. It was hysterical. I think orange pudding is his favorite dessert ;-)

I feel so lucky to have my grandparents in the health that they are in. Both in their late-80s, they are two of the most active people, it’s just incredible. I’m always struck by it, whenever I see them. For example, when we had that mini heat wave a few weeks ago? They both took a swim in the lake in Maine! In MARCH! I mean, sure, it was in the upper 80s, but the lake literally still had ice on it the week prior. I love that. I was totally cracking up when they told that story over dinner.

I played peekaboo with my niece Isabel through the cracks in my chair. I was sitting in a folding patio chair (only have 6 dining chairs) and she loved to peer through the mesh at me and poke my hand through it. It was so cute. Then she’d say ‘hiiiii!’ and peer around the side at me. I am always surprised when she says actual words (Jen left me a voicemail where Isabel repeated everything she told her to say, including ‘hi jo!’ ADORABLE).

It occurred to me last night that I didn’t eat any Easter candy yesterday, this weekend, and barely at all. I had a few Cadbury mini eggs but that’s really it. No sugar high for me, and I didn’t even miss it. Who knew?!

I have been trying to ‘go log-less’ a few days a week to see how I do, and yesterday, by nature of the day, was one of them. I was completely satisfied with a small breakfast, Easter dinner,  and a snack later on. My body is so used to my ‘number’ that it almost self-regulates itself now. It’s the coolest thing to realize and see in action. Almost a year later, this approach just works for me.

Speaking of a year later, the pictures of me from Easter last year and this year are amazingly different. I am looking forward to my sister and my one year-barre-o-versary and I am thinking of doing a before and after picture. Maybe. Still debating on it, but I just want to capture the essence of the change, inside and out. Not a day goes by that I don’t realize a mini epiphany here or there about my eating patterns now, feeling satisfied with wholesome foods and still being able to have some wine a couple days a week ;-)

One of my cats, Kayla, was ill all day yesterday. I felt so bad. She looked exactly like a human would with a stomach bug. Lethargic, no appetite, just bleh. I was a worried kitty mama all day and night, but this morning, she greeted me with a little ‘trill’ and shake of her floppy tail and she seems much better. Sometimes I think a little kitty ‘bug’ reminds me not to take my furchildren for granted. I love them so!

Overall, the weekend was fantastic. Celebrating Easter with family (sans Jess and Scott, but I was able to spend Saturday evening with them with the ‘girls night’ crew, so that felt like our mini-Easter celebration, with our friends!), enjoying some good, quality time with family, and taking each day in stride.

So there ya have it…some musings and memories of the weekend, and what was that was on my mind, sort of mini-blogs all wrapped into one. Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend, and is celebrating the #littlethings of each day, and not just the weekend. I’m gonna try and do the same today and everyday :)