Tag Archives: job

May23

Bits and pieces.

Posted on by
Bits and pieces.

**Just some bits and pieces flitting through my brain that don’t quite make a post in of itself, but together, make a lil potpourri of thoughts that I don’t want to lose!**

~~

Can someone first explain to me, how is it *only* Wednesday? Whenever I travel, it feels like a time warp, backwards and forwards! Starts off with a bang and then mid-week, starts to wane, like whoa. I know I will catch my second wind for the tail end of my trip, but man, does traveling mess with me. Routine, baby, it’s where it’s at ;-)

~~

I am supremely amazed at how differently I’ve handled eating during this trip. While I have had several trips across three time zones since I started the barre n9ne challenge last year, which has made me more mindful and aware of eating when hungry, not out of habit or mindlessly, but this trip has just felt the most different of them all. For starters, I was *really* worried I’d be ridiculously hungry during Monday’s flight since it left at 8 am, and arrived at 2:30 pm (in my brain, but 11:30 PT) where I would have to endure what should be breakfast and lunch, yet only be barely lunchtime on the West Coast when I arrived.

For the first time, I forced myself to retrain my eating into West Coast times from the minute I stepped off the plane. And surprisingly? It worked! I wasn’t heinously hungry the entire flight, either. I scored some steel cut oats at the hotel (last minute score! Arm pump!) and just needed a banana to sustain me until I landed and could grab a bite once I got my car, maneuvered my way out of LA and go to my office, around 12:30 PT. That has seriously been my golden ticket this week. I haven’t woken up famished (hungry, but not wilting!), and I’ve generally been hungry at the ‘right’ times on the West Coast. Score.

~~

I ran outside – alone – for the first time EVER since  I started this job 18 months ago. (well, that’s not entirely true. I did run on the beach AT my hotel when I first started…but that doesn’t feel quite the same, since there were people everywhere. If that makes sense). I knew I wanted to finally run outside, when it would be light enough to do so safely (many of my trips up until this point have been during winter months where it was just too dark to do it previously). And so I would not get lost, I came up with a genius plan (if I do say so myself!). I ran FROM my hotel TO my office. Since I know the route by heart and it’s about 2.4 miles one way, making for a solid just about 5 mile route.

What most surprised me, beyond loving being outdoors and running IN Cali and ON flat, flat, FLAT roads was how PRETTY everything smelled. I smelled flowers everywhere. I heard birds chirping. I even heard the electrical wires above me buzzing. It was quiet, even on usually-busy main roads (it was 5:30 am, I guess I can see why). I LOVED it.

~~

We had our long-awaited event this week for work. (the reason I am out here this week) And it was SO cool to see an event come off without a hitch, one that my boss and I have been working on for months. It was fun to interact with those that arrived, from the students from a local college (that were part of the competition for this particular event), to my company’s executives, to the media that came, and to my co-workers, too. I finally felt comfortable chatting on the fly with people and not feeling like I stuck out like a sore thumb. Perhaps it goes back to feeling confident in who I am, for the first time pretty much ever, huh?

~~

This whole shifting focus, thing? Yeah, it’s REALLY working for me. I have not dreaded this trip much at all (besides the always hard goodbyes to M), I have looked forward to it. I have embraced the challenges, I have done new things (running alone, as I mentioned, for starters!), and I have just enjoyed the time and the opportunity. It has gone a long way, and I couldn’t be more glad, or more relieved at that.

~~

So far, it’s been a GREAT week. And I guess the bits and pieces flitting through my head culminates into more than I thought it would, huh? ;-)  

~

PS – THANK YOU to everyone for all of your feedback, compliments, and support on my post yesterday. It meant so much to see such positive feedback and enthusiasm. I was nervous to post before and after pictures for a number of reasons, but am so glad the message I wanted to get through as part of that came shining through, rather than it being uber focused on numbers and such. THANK YOU!

I wish there was smellavision (er, blogavision?!) – those flowers smelled GOOD!

Mar22

Throwbacks: a panic attack, revisited.

Posted on by
Throwbacks: a panic attack, revisited.

**Here’s a throwback of a different kind. Most of these have been recaps of stories I’ve shared on my old blog, about my divorce, or things I haven’t shared here, that are part of my story that some of you may not have read. This story and journey I have recapped here. The story of the first year of my new job and all the ups, downs and in-betweens…**

It was this day, a year ago, that my boss went on maternity leave 10 days early. And a day that I had my very first panic attack. Something I’d never experienced before. Suddenly, a wave of nausea, fear and well, panic washed over me. I was scared. I wasn’t ready (or so I felt). And to top it off, I was going to Jamaica in two days (given my boss did not think she was going to go early as it was her first child, my scheduling a trip right before she left didn’t seem to be a big deal…at the time!).

The perfect storm to cultivate a panic attack, no?

I remember sitting at my desk, in my old apartment, texting M frantically, IMing my sister Jess, and tweeting out my feelings to anyone and no one at the same time…scared and worried and wondering how the hell I was going to make it through three months without my boss, my safety blanket and security net, still very new to my job and to working for a global company (speaking of, I had my first call with our China PR team that night, a call I rarely joined, let alone had to lead!) and many names, faces and personalities to cope with. I had a list a mile long of notes, reminders, who to send what and when, yet I was still scared and feeling very unprepared.

And it was then that M said to me: “remember, it’s okay to lose to your opponent, but you shouldn’t lose to fear.”

And that statement, as simple as it sounds, was exactly what I needed to face the next 12 weeks. It was probably the hardest 12 weeks of my career. There were a lot of tears. There was a lot of unknowns I had to just face, and do. There was a lot of faking it, and a lot of questions I hated asking for fear of ‘sounding stupid’ (one of my biggest fears). There was a LOT of travel. There was a shitton of discomfort.

But most of all?

There was a shitton of growth too. I took this job in January 2011 with a hunger to grow, to be pushed, to learn what it is that I want out of this career move, what I want my job to look like. And looking back at the last almost year and a half? I have come incredibly far. I won’t mince words or half-say it. I conquered it. And I am damn proud of that.

But.

There is still so much I need and want to learn. So much more growth. More discomfort (it IS the year of getting out of the ‘zone after all) and reaching the next level. I’ve sensed that change starting. The ‘what am I waiting for’ feeling…just start doing it. Don’t wait for permission. Don’t even ask for it. Just DO it. That’s why I was hired. And that’s why I took it upon myself to request attending two social media events coming up (which I cannot wait to go to!) and why I am trying to approach my day-to-day with more confidence and direction. Not waiting for permission or for the answer to be given to me.

And I think this idea – the premise of unseating comfort zones and *not* waiting for permission can be applied to so much in life. What, precisely, *are* we waiting for? And why are we waiting? Think about it. There is always something ‘on our bucket lists’ or something we want to do ‘when we have time’ but why wait? Why not make it a priority and just for it. Empower yourself. Don’t wait to be empowered.

And that is exactly what I plan to do. No more panic attacks. Just do it. 

Feb1

Think, Act, Play, Be…Different.

Posted on by
Think, Act, Play, Be…Different.

The theme of this week’s sales conference has been all about being different…think different, play different, BE different.

It was written around the lanyard around my neck with my nametag. It was flashed on-screen in a snazzy logo for the week’s sessions, and it was exactly how I felt from the first step into dinner the first night.

Different.

I felt different. Better. Happier. Confident. Not intimidated.

I felt different because I belonged. Because I am part of this team. And because I have made a difference.

I felt different because when I introduced myself to people, they instantly knew who I was, they remembered my name, had seen what I’ve done for social media and as part of the corporate comms team, and simply being recognized…felt incredible.

To be asked to meet up for drinks with some of my team and a) not being scared or saying no and b) enjoying every minute of it, laughing, joking, engaging in conversation with everyone, made me feel so incredibly good. I belong here. I am part of this team. And I daresay I am making friends and I didn’t even realize I had.

I felt different also because I look different. And people noticed. I think partially because maybe I carried myself differently this week than this time last year, but also in the physical changes. My boss’s boss (my interim boss while she was on maternity leave, as you may recall) again said how good I looked and how proud I should be of the changes I have made. Another coworker asked what I’d been doing and said I’d totally ‘leaned out’ since last year (and this comes from a guy that has 2% body fat and is a fitness fiend!), and another that said I was ‘all muscle.’ Um wow, thank you…that too felt different. In that I accepted the compliments and felt proud of them.

And the funniest part of the week, hands down, had to be when the SVP of worldwide sales (aka hello big wig!) said at the opening remarks at day two of the conference in front of the global sales and marketing team ‘and this morning, at the gym, I ran next to Jolene and if I thought so-and-so [removing name for anonymity] kicked my ass, I was wrong. Jolene kicked my ass this morning on the treadmill!! (I am partially glad the room was dark as my face went beet red…even though I was at the same time, incredibly proud of that moment – thank you interval day! – it was definitely the funniest and one of the most memorable of the week! Even though I felt like a sweaty, gross mess running next to him that morning…it paid off!)

In a nutshell, this week was confirmation that the past year of hard work, dedication and focus, in my job and in my personal fitness journey has completely paid off. And it confirmed that I do have a game face, I can convey confidence and I am kicking that self-doubt that plagued me last year, and even just a few days ago.

Think…Act…Play…Be…Different. 

Jan31

Breathing it all in.

Posted on by
Breathing it all in.

I am one day away from the end of my second sales conference at my job and I have so many thoughts to share…on progress, and how different I feel here this year vs. last, and feeling part of a team, and realizing that I do indeed have some friends, and am making an impact in my job. Finally.

But for now, on the short break I *finally* get from the chaos, I wanted to just share some pictures I’ve been capturing. This hotel is freaking amazing. I have a living room, two bathrooms, two patios, a shower. a tub. Need I go on?? It feels utterly ridiculous that I sit here in this huge ass room, alone. And that I can’t share it with M, or my family, or friends, but what I can at least do is enjoy it. Breathe it in.

So here are a few pictures of my week so far…enjoy.

snapped on the morning of my first day, this is the view from my room. Unreal, like whoa.

I captured this on the walk back from the hotel gym, which is also incredible, facing the pool, overlooking the water.

This, my friends, is the view from the 'mill. Open air, sliders open, breathing in fresh, mild air. Can't wait to share the story that goes along with this morning's run. (tomorrow!)

I just snapped this one, from the lobby patio, on my break, finally, after 2 days of nonstop back to back peoplepeoplepeoplemeetingsmeetingsmeetings. bliss!

I’ll take more pictures and post some in my post that I am planning to write tomorrow, as I sit at the Vegas airport during my two hour layover before my red-eye (gag…flight from Long Beach, to Vegas, two hour layover, and then home…arriving at 7:15 am on Thursday morning…light at the end of the tunnel!).

But for now, I plan to breathe it all in…and take a walk around the grounds and on the beach.

(and, wow, what a difference a year makes)

20120131-164117.jpg

20120131-164305.jpg

20120131-164244.jpg

20120131-164255.jpg

Jan29

It’s time for the game face.

Posted on by
It’s time for the game face.

I fully expected this weekend to fly by, given my week starts a day early (today) as I head off to California for my company’s annual sales kick off. But it truly didn’t. I enjoyed the shit out of it, I didn’t let anticipation get the best of me (I think I did enough of that last week), and that truly helped keep the weekend from flying too fast. (M and I had a wonderful evening for two last night, we had one of those moments, one of those talks that just…meant so much. And leaving today was truly once again very difficult, but now, I just look forward to seeing him in 4 short days).

But now? Now is time for the game face.

I need to plant it firmly and keep it there for the next 4 nights and 3 days (since things truly kick off this evening, almost literally from the minute I step off the plane).

I need to socialize.

I need to take it day by day.

I need to make sure I’m fueled properly (good thing I have a shitton of oatmeal, mini PB packets, fruit and nuts packed, and chia seeds…hope they do all they are meant to in keeping me fuller longer!).

And I need to not stress the workouts too much. My goal is to run each morning, but the wild card will be how big the hotel gym is…it’s a really nice hotel though, so I anticipate it *should* be nice. But it’s always a wild card.

Overall, I just want to convey confidence. Because it’s a new year, and what a difference it makes. Now it’s time to prove it. Talk the talk, walk the walk.

Wish me luck (and extra energy boosts!).