Determined. To Be…

…a runner, a sister, a lover…living a fit and happy life.

Tag Archives: joy


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On foodie love and evolutions.

This week, I randomly declared it a week of ‘doing lunch differently’ as I am often inspired by instagram and some of my favorites (including the queen of random, yet delicious, flavor combinations, Lindsay, and Kabocha Queen Sarena!), and because I have been on a huuuuuge wrap kick over the last few months, I figured it was time to switch it up, especially since I am so fortunate to work from home and really can make whatever I want for lunch, not something more suited to an ‘office’ lunch (a can-be-made-ahead wrap, for example!).

And I gotta hand it to myself…I made some freaking delicious meals this week. Take a gander below, or on my instagram and you’ll see loads of variety, which included kabocha (and lots of it, anywhere I could get it! My latest obsession, it is just.so.good!), lentils, a kickass lemon parmesan yogurt sauce, hard boiled eggs, beets, avocado and grilled chicken, to name a few. Droooool.

food

This week’s experiment made me realize two things: I crave good, fueling, fresh foods, and I love food. I’d so much rather devour a bowl of oatmeal than a bagel…though once in awhile, that bagel, freshly made from only a local bakery, of course, truly hits the spot, something I know that will fill me up and also taste so.damn.good. Not only do I crave good, fueling, fresh foods…I just love eating. I know that may be a funny thing to say, but I just do. I LOVE food.

Which brings me to Lindsay’s post this week, one of my absolute favorites from her, on what’s important when it comes to eating. Is it the bottom line: how many calories are in it? Or, is it, will this satisfy me physically but yes, also mentally. There is nothing wrong with food bringing you joy (it’s just when it *only* brings you joy, I suppose, where it becomes more of a slippery slope, with fixations, mindlessness etc.). And I think for me, for awhile, I was trying to break the tie of food = joy SO much as I sought mindfulness and intuitive eating, that I would see food more as the black and white: food is a calorie, how many are in it, and then I’ll decide to eat it or not.

…stealing the joy out of it, and the experience, and surroundings entirely.

Of course, there is a balance to eating joyously and healthfully, and everyone needs to find what works for them (because what works for me won’t work for you and vice versa!), but ultimately, eating and sharing and making food should be a happy experience, not stressful, or something that causes anxiety.

And this is my evolution. Coming up on almost two years into my own personal ‘food journey’ if you will, and I realize that while I still believe food is fuel, I also think you can, and should enjoy eating, too.

Because life is far too short to scrimp and pinch and overanalyze every last drop of food you eat. It just is. Don’t you think?

~~

Cheers friends!


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Embracing the current season of my life.

I read Dorry’s blog today and her words spoke to me (again, yet again!) as I struggle (in a good way!) with the words to follow my last post on my engagement (!) to M.

And when I say struggle, I say this because I never quite expected to feel the way I feel once M proposed.

I knew he would.

I knew we would.

And I knew it is what we both wanted.

But what I didn’t know, was how I would react. How I would feel. Besides that elated, happy, can’t-wipe-the-smile-off-my-face feeling, I feel so ready. So so ready. To become a family with M. To be our own unit. To continue our story, wherever it leads us.

And part of that ready feeling? Jump, skipping ahead to the next. To IT. 

To marriage.

Yet there is this ‘gap’ between now and marriage that I don’t want to look past. The here and now. The current season of our lives. 

As we enjoy the bliss that we are in, embrace the love that continues to grow, and stop and practice gratitude for finding each other at exactly the right time in our lives (thanks for the unintentional nudge Lindsay!), there is so much in-between to enjoy. Individually, and together.

So this is my reminder. To me. To him. To anyone reading.

Embrace the current season of your life. Even if there is something exciting around the corner. And conversely, even if there isn’t. We only get one chance at this life, let’s do it right.

<3

(and thank you THANK YOU for all of your comments, tweets, texts and blog shout-outs. I have not stopping beaming and being blown away by all the love, happiness and support for us!!). 


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Summer…quite simply.

Summer…quite simply…

is not over. (because I will hold on for dear life until I absolutely cannot hold on much longer.

is a time where I now sit and reflect on the past few months of absolute joy, happiness and fun, and think back to this time last year, and the year before that, and the year before that.

truly the best times of my life. 

and it’s just the beginning (that’s the best part).

so now, I plan to take a step back – waaayyy back – and breathe it all in, all three glorious weekend days long.

(and live the shit out of it)

back next week with some epiphanies and a retrospective.

Summer…quite simply, is meant for bare feet. This picture really does say it all, doesn’t it?

 

Cheers to a long weekend, enjoy the shit out of it too, will ya? 


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Spreading the happy.

Sometimes I think it’s so easy to forget to “spread the happy.”

And it’s even easier to forget that sometimes we *d0* “spread the happy” without even realizing it.

…chatting with a barre n9ne client and they ask ‘so, how long have you been doing the 60-day challenge?’ and they ask for tips, and how to get ‘there’ to where *you* are.

(silently inspiring, simply leading by example)

…hearing from a friend that they’ve just broken up with their boyfriend of five years and though she is obviously very sad, “seeing how happy you are, after going through what you did, gives me confidence and faith that I will too.”

(paying it forward to someone else means incredibly much to me, because there are so many that inspired *me* when I most needed it, just seeing *their* happiness overflow in their ‘new normal.’)

…reaching out, with an email, a call, a text. To say hello. To ask ‘how are you?’ or ‘I miss you, how have you been?’

(handing a morsel of ‘happy’ at an unexpected moment)

All of these things…are ways we ‘spread the happy’ without even knowing it. Our experiences, our pasts, our challenges, our evolutions, our faith, our habits, our advice, our lives…can so much inspire and boost up one’s spirit ever so gently. The power of happy, and paying it forward is something that has become one of my own biggest joys. I love to ‘spread the happy’ because it not only makes *them* happy, it makes *me* happy too. And it’s just something I’ve been thinking about more and more lately. Perhaps it is because I am feeling so much happy around me, I just want it to spread and increase and motivate….for others.

So next time you brush off a compliment, an action, advice, a random email from a friend. Don’t. Pay it forward. 

Spread the happy.


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Throwbacks on comparison and number fixation.

After a most perfect weekend of unplanned-ness, good, quality time with M, and the downtime I’ve been craving (like whoa), I sit here somewhat amazed at a few things I realized about my habits and how they’ve changed.

In particular? Comparison and number fixation. 

These are two things that have dogged me big time in the past year, where I allowed comparing myself to others, including my sister Jess and to well, just about anyone, and my fixation on numbers (namely – the scale) to drag me down and lose sight of my achievements and progress.

There were two instances where I had an amazing a-ha moment that made me realize that I’ve come a lot farther than I really even realized. So, I call this a ‘throwback’ of sorts because I recall it being just about this time last year where I was neck-deep in a downward spiral of self negativity with relation to comparison and number fixation.

The first instance? Running.

At this point last year, I was struggling to embrace running, to love it as much as I proclaimed. To want to run another half marathon. And while I did run another half marathon last year, it was also that experience that made me realize that I am NOT a racer. But deep down? I was comparing myself to my sister. And her amazing PR. And wondering ‘why not me?’ WHY can’t I do it? Why is she better than me?

Fast forward to this weekend. My sister and brother in law ran a kick-ass half marathon…another PR. And I don’t think I could have been prouder if I tried. I was beaming when she texted me her finish. I was excited and proud to see all of the congratulatory tweets and Facebook posts. I reveled in it. And I didn’t feel an ounce of jealousy, frustration or ‘why not me?’ moments. In fact, I channeled her ‘run happy’ mantra on my own run that morning with M, as we spontaneously decided to find a new route. And ya know what? I ran happy.

Compare THAT to last year? I can’t even describe how happy that makes me. I’m not comparing anymore. I’ve released myself of it. And instead? I’m proud of her, and happily running my own way.

~~

The second instance? I decided to weigh myself this weekend, after not weighing myself since December. I honestly had no idea what the scale would say. Of course, I hoped it would be lower than when I weighed in December, but told myself to only do it if I knew I could handle what it said.

So, as I waited to teach my barre n9ne class on Sunday, I stepped on the scale. And looked down. At first, I was happy. It was below my goal weight of that December timeframe. But then my mind automatically started to want to compare. At first, I did. And then I brushed it off. And then I did it again. I started to fixate. But it was half-hearted. I didn’t WANT to compare, or fixate, or obsess. I taught my class, I channeled my frustration (and probably killed my clients, hehe, but hey, what’s a little extra sweat on a Sunday Funday?!). I looked in the mirror. In my brand-new Lululemon outfit that I couldn’t believe I was wearing. Crops I never thought I could rock. And I smiled. I felt good. The number started not to matter so much, or rather, I started to own that number, to be proud of it, and not lose sight of all that I’ve accomplished in the ‘year of barre n9ne’.

On my drive home, I thought about it some more. And I realized something that really drove it home for me. A proportional loss that made me realize that I had, indeed, worked so hard, accomplishing a number that I wanted to own, rather than ‘wish away’ into a lower, phantom number, I embraced it. 100%. 

And that, my friends, are two examples of harnessing two very almost-paralyzing habits – comparison and number fixation – and instead, embracing and celebrating the change, the progress, and the determination that I’ve worked so hard for. There’s no such thing as comparison…to anyone but yourself. 

This one needs zero explanation. Zero.

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