Tag Archives: mindfulness

Progress…(somewhat) under wraps.

First of all, thank you so much for your kind words, well wishes, and support for us as we launch into our first home together! It truly means so much to have so many, near and far, care, send support, and pray for us. More than words can say.

(and reading, and rereading all of your comments just makes this feel so much more real, I can’t even stand it! wheeeeeee!!)

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I feel as though – again – I’m silently moving ahead with our plans, to live, to marry, to be and I am not quite sharing it all here. Yes, it is purposeful. Yes, it is with some sense of intent. And yes, it is worth doing this the way we want to do it, and moreso, for ME to do it this way. M knows about my blog, of course (though he used to not, as some of you know!), and supports whatever I decide, in terms of how disclosive I am here, and in ‘real life’ with regard to…well, us.

But at the same time, I *miss* sharing some of this excitement and progress here. And I plan to post more on these things, but probably more so after they have happened, similar to discussing our house plans. Partially out of fear of the proverbial ‘jinx’ and partially because privacy is often underrated, I think. And I need to respect that  – for me, and us – more now than I ever have before.

…just know that good things are in store. Big things. Fabulous things. Uniting things. Soon. Relatively soon. And it’s so damn awesome, I can hardly contain myself. Clearly.

Progress…under wraps.

*file under: being secretive* <–though it is so damn hard!!

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In other not-so-secretive progress ‘news’ – it’s amazing how each day, I feel more and more in tune with my body. More ‘in love’ with me, versus writhing against who I am, my body, my habits. I feel like I own them more, I am confident behind them, and don’t need as many crutches as I have in the past.

I own my eating habits. I know my body. I know what fuels it. I know what it likes. I know how to keep it balanced. And that has taken so long to get a handle on…but it’s been so worth it!

I continue to focus on balancing the ‘smarter, not harder’ mantra, especially when I want to tiptoe over that line because I love what I do so much. I love to teach, yet I love to take classes, yet I love to run. But I can’t do it all, every single day. I need to choose, be selective, yet still get my ‘me’ workouts in where I can and where makes the most sense. Some days are harder than others to realize this, but then I go back to two things: be smart. And embrace the ability.

And, I continue to focus on being my own best friend, loving myself for what it can do, not for what (I perceive it to) not be able to do or look like. Nobody is perfect, so why not strive for excellence, balance, and happiness, instead? Life is too short for perfection, IMHO ;-)

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So…life progresses. In so many good ways. And also in some upcoming challenging ways. But I feel ready. Far more ready than I ever have. And that is worth rejoicing, and embracing, isn’t it? 

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On foodie love and evolutions.

This week, I randomly declared it a week of ‘doing lunch differently’ as I am often inspired by instagram and some of my favorites (including the queen of random, yet delicious, flavor combinations, Lindsay, and Kabocha Queen Sarena!), and because I have been on a huuuuuge wrap kick over the last few months, I figured it was time to switch it up, especially since I am so fortunate to work from home and really can make whatever I want for lunch, not something more suited to an ‘office’ lunch (a can-be-made-ahead wrap, for example!).

And I gotta hand it to myself…I made some freaking delicious meals this week. Take a gander below, or on my instagram and you’ll see loads of variety, which included kabocha (and lots of it, anywhere I could get it! My latest obsession, it is just.so.good!), lentils, a kickass lemon parmesan yogurt sauce, hard boiled eggs, beets, avocado and grilled chicken, to name a few. Droooool.

food

This week’s experiment made me realize two things: I crave good, fueling, fresh foods, and I love food. I’d so much rather devour a bowl of oatmeal than a bagel…though once in awhile, that bagel, freshly made from only a local bakery, of course, truly hits the spot, something I know that will fill me up and also taste so.damn.good. Not only do I crave good, fueling, fresh foods…I just love eating. I know that may be a funny thing to say, but I just do. I LOVE food.

Which brings me to Lindsay’s post this week, one of my absolute favorites from her, on what’s important when it comes to eating. Is it the bottom line: how many calories are in it? Or, is it, will this satisfy me physically but yes, also mentally. There is nothing wrong with food bringing you joy (it’s just when it *only* brings you joy, I suppose, where it becomes more of a slippery slope, with fixations, mindlessness etc.). And I think for me, for awhile, I was trying to break the tie of food = joy SO much as I sought mindfulness and intuitive eating, that I would see food more as the black and white: food is a calorie, how many are in it, and then I’ll decide to eat it or not.

…stealing the joy out of it, and the experience, and surroundings entirely.

Of course, there is a balance to eating joyously and healthfully, and everyone needs to find what works for them (because what works for me won’t work for you and vice versa!), but ultimately, eating and sharing and making food should be a happy experience, not stressful, or something that causes anxiety.

And this is my evolution. Coming up on almost two years into my own personal ‘food journey’ if you will, and I realize that while I still believe food is fuel, I also think you can, and should enjoy eating, too.

Because life is far too short to scrimp and pinch and overanalyze every last drop of food you eat. It just is. Don’t you think?

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Cheers friends!

On mini-vacations, flavored with mindfulness.

So, M and I went to the Bahamas on Saturday and got back last night. I didn’t share much about it here before we left because a) life felt like a bit of a blur leading into our trip (in all good ways of course!) and b) I thought I’d instead share a little recap of it afterwards instead.

We booked this trip before our trip to Mexico as it was for a medical conference M was attending and I just so happen to be able to go basically free of charge, and who am I to turn down an offer like that? #twistmyarm. However, as we were still somewhat on the heels of our trip to Mexico, and I am on the heels of a trip to California and Austin for work (next Monday – Thursday – talk about a blur of a month already!), I went into this trip with a mental gauge towards mindfulness and for this to be somewhat of an ‘active/working’ mini-vacation.

Not to say I went into my trip to Mexico with a ‘throw caution to the wind’ eat and drink my face off, but I did go into that week somewhat with a mindset of rest and rejuvenation  Not much in the way of workouts, more along the lines of walks on the beach and well, rejuvenation. It was exactly what my body needed, especially as I fended off a cold at the same time. But this trip, especially so close to another week of travel and un-routine, I went into it with a bit more structure. I worked out 3 of the 4 days (and loved every minute of it!). I brought breakfast with me vs. relying on whatever was in the resort, allowing me to plan ahead for dinner and any afternoon drinks I may consume.  That approach also worked SO well for me anyway, as M was at the conference from 8-1, leaving me to my own devices aka workout, Starbucks and energy bar by the pool until he joined me at 1 ;-)

What was most amazing to me about this trip was truly how mindful I have become.

Stop eating when I am satisfied…not full.

Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. 

Being active makes me happy…but active rest days do too.

I recall trips of years past (again, not comparing to Mexico because I also felt mindful then too!) where I would eat and drink and eat and drink and come home feeling the need to ‘detox’ while on this trip? I came home feeling good. Healthy, not ‘heavy’ and bloated. I was amazed at how much my body just ‘knows’ its limits and number, and how I am becoming even more self-aware and mindful of my eats, and my limits. (akin to what my sis posted about last week) And I know more than ever with this attitude and mindset, I will go into next week’s work travels feeling confident that while I will have to brace un-routine, I will ‘pass’ with flying colors. Because this is my lifestyle, no end game in sight, and happily so.

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And now that I’ve waxed poetic, here are some pictures from our trip. We talked. A lot. About marriage. About kids. About honeymoon ideas. About life. Our goals. Our careers. And at the same time, we talked about nothing at all and just gazed at each other. Read our books next to each other at the pool, holding hands. Joking. Laughing. And I realize that my sense of humor is starting to meld with his…and I can ‘play’ with his ‘over the line’ ridiculously funny humor more than I thought I could ;-) hehe.



Us...us and more us?
Us…us and more us?

 

It was incredibly weird, but SO cool to hear Christmas music and see Christmas trees while in the tropics!
It was incredibly weird, but SO cool to hear Christmas music and see Christmas trees while in the tropics!

 

Views were incredible.
Views were incredible.

 

Being goofy with snotty wine faces at Mesa ;-)
Being goofy with snotty wine faces at Mesa ;-)


On intuition.

Lately I’ve been struck by my sense of intuition on some things. Some of which I won’t share in detail (such a tease, I know…), but a few that I think are just more ongoing ‘a-ha’ moments for me as I grow as a barre n9ne instructor and student and as a mindful, intuitive eater.

Intuition lately has been telling me to not rush things.

Not try to ‘can’t wait’ past the very present. The moments that matter.

The in-between moments that will otherwise be lost, forgotten or not even noticed to begin with.

It feels like an incredibly special time in my life right now, from my life with M, as we move forward towards uniting our lives forever, to continuing to focus on balance and prioritizing what and who matter, like my sisters, my niece, the friends that ‘get’ me most.

Intuition is telling me to keep focusing on ‘feeling the room’ when I am teaching a barre n9ne class, ease up ever so gently if there is struggle (beyond the point where it should be, where form suffers), offer words of guidance and support, help clients refocus and snap back to the present, as they too can drift off and not focus and push and break through barriers. (it also is a gentle reminder to me, when I am a student in class, to channel the very words I speak, and work and hone).

Intuition is telling me when to eat, and when to stop. It is telling me when I am hungry, and when I am bored, or stuck in a habit. It is an ongoing, lifelong process, but this intuitive eating thing…gets easier and easier the more I listen to that intuition and mindfulness. It’s about peace. Not struggle.

Intuition is also telling me when to ease up on my own workouts, on my body, and well, on myself. Stop trying to be do it all or be regimented.

Intuition is urging me to let go a little. (M is also really good at helping me practice this, just by nature of how chill he is. About everything. From getting married, to what to make for dinner!) I need to be more vicarious because the more planned I am, the more boxed in I feel and the less I enjoy any of those carefully made plans (my favorite pin lately on Pinterest? Something along the lines of, I can be spontaneous if it is carefully planned <–that is so me!).

Most importantly, intuition is guiding me in my life. Intuition of the faith variety. It helps me feel centered. It helps me realize when I am losing sight of what is important, or getting caught up in the details or the excitement of something and not looking at it realistically. (this is where the vagueness comes in…). Intuition is telling me that ‘life is never simple. But don’t fret. It will all work out as need be.’ <–wise words of Ms Lindsay yesterday as I tweeted out some frustration. Thank you friend, it was e-xactly what I needed at that very moment.

I think this year, while it has been one of the best years of my life so far, it has also taught me so very much in terms of listening to myself, my body, my intuition. Letting it guide me. Breaking past the stubbornness. And letting go just a little bit more. Living more freely, and ‘sitting down’ when I need to.

Taking a deep breathe…to unWINEd.

Yesterday, it hit me. Like a ton of bricks, followed by the feeling that I had been run over by a Mac truck, then backed over again with said Mac truck about 14 times.

I was just SPENT. Absolutely burnt. Could barely keep my eyes open. Tired to my core.

I think the last 6 months have done me in. In mostly good ways, but it’s just been an incredibly busy time, with a lot of ‘new’ thrown in, a lot of challenges, both physically and mentally, a shitton of travel and just gogogo.

I clearly need a break. My sister clearly does too.

We ALL need a break sometimes. And sometimes we don’t realize it until that ‘hit-by-a-ton-of-bricks’ moment. I realize how incredibly blessed I am to have an opportunity to truly unWINEd in my self-professed ‘mecca’ for the fourth year in a row. To be able to travel at all. To finally be on my feet financially, after several years of barely making ends meet. This feels like the culmination of this life that I have built from scratch, almost four years ago (FOUR! Incredible.).

In a way, I plan to pay it forward, to honor the mindfulness I pledged this week, to honor the blessing of this opportunity, to embrace un-routine, moments, and wine. Lots and lots of wine. 

Sometimes those hit-by-a-ton-of-bricks moments hit you upside the head with yet another reminder…never take for granted, never take lightly what is completely unfeasible for so many people, and to embrace all the good in life, big, small, and everything in between. Because it’s those in-between moments that are almost always the most incredible.

And I urge you…find a way this week to UnWINEd, just a little. Let the mind go, release the pressure you put on yourself and just be

Cheers friends.