Determined. To Be…

…a runner, a sister, a lover…living a fit and happy life.

Tag Archives: running


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Run-imations: run-volutions.

I haven’t done a ‘run-imnations’ (ruminations – get it, I’m so punny…) post in awhile and on the last handful of runs I’ve had, I’ve really thought about my ‘run-volution’ of sorts over the past few months in particular.

Coming back from a bit of an ITBS injury that kept me not running for almost two months and slowly coming back into my regular runs (3-4 days a week), I am amazed at how differently I run now. Not only physically run, but mentally, too.

It’s no secret that I am a mental runner. I am almost always fighting being too in-my-head, fearing a bad run, stressing over steady breathing, a side cramp, anything that would inhibit a good run.

But now?

If I start to head down that path, I ask myself “are my legs ok?” The answer is almost ALWAYS ‘yes.’ And it’s mental. My legs feel happy, strong, NOT tired, so why am I worrying?

Run on.

I used to mentally add up how many miles I was running per week and aim for XX miles, adding too much emphasis and importance on a number than just having a good run.

But now?

I don’t run in miles. I run in minutes. (a la Lindsay, who does this oh so well and inspiring!) And I run happily whether it’s 30 minutes, 45, an hour, or more.

Run on.

I used to panic when I start breathing weird, or just struggle with breathing, depending on the air conditions (too cold, or too humid are typically my vices!) and get mad if I needed to walk it out.

But now?

I will stop and walk a few minutes to even out my breathing and – this is the key – not label the run bad because I had to stop. M is constantly reminding me of this when I try to call a run bad if I stop and walk it off, and tell me that we are ‘just running’ – it’s okay if we stop, we are just enjoying the run and the time together. Yes, yes, he is so right. Every time I try to venture down that path. (side note: M truly IS my run-sherpa and lately, I have realized that more and more, I am so grateful that we do almost all of our runs together each week, it truly is a special time and I adore every minute of it!)

Run on.

I used to want to ‘run happy’ and actually BE happy when I was running. And more often than not, I’d find myself in my head, struggling, breathing wrong and well…unhappy.

But now?

I run happy almost always because I am SO happy to be running, to not be sidelined with an injury, and now, to be running outside, fresh air, working hard with that ‘legs feeling worked’ oh so good feeling, and sweat dripping down my face. THAT is happy running.

And it is something that I don’t think I ever truly achieved before I couldn’t run.

It’s amazing what an injury can do, no matter how big or small that injury or recovery is.

And today, as M and I finished our run and I almost run into someone running in our direction – because I was SO letting go and just running, I didn’t even notice – that never would have happened before!! – I thought ‘that was a tough run’ but instead of a frown, I was smiling. A tough, but GOOD run. A happy run.

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On running, tragedy, and inspiration.

I almost chose not to write a post about yesterday’s Boston Marathon tragedy, but the more I read, the more blogs, tributes and gestures, the more I fall in love with running even more than I ever thought I could.

Because I’ve always been teetering on the fence of love-to-run and love-to-hate-to-run, despite my best efforts to get rid of the ‘hate,’ there are still days I struggle. With breathing, with pace, with ‘in my head-ness’ and it makes me wonder if I’ll ever love the sport as much as others will.

But the truth is? It doesn’t matter. And it never will. 

What matters is that I do it because I DO love it, at the heart of it, because it is the one sport, I truly believe, that never gets any easier, no matter if you are an elite, a jogger, or somewhere in between. You run because it is a challenge. Every.single.time. There is no such thing as an ‘easy’ run. (despite those that call their runs an ‘easy run day…’). You may run with ease, but the act of running itself? Not. Easy. Ever.

But my point with all of this is…after yesterday’s tragedy, I honestly don’t know that I have seen a community come together as quick as this, to respond, react, support. From instagram, to Twitter, to Facebook, to tributes, to candlelight vigils, to worldwide support in every single way…there it was. And it was, and still is, beautiful. Every single time I come across something else beautiful, in light of tragedy.

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This quote (Runner’s World):

“It’s the only sport in the world where if a competitor falls, the others around will pick him or her up. It’s the only sport in the world open to absolutely everyone, regardless of gender, age, ethnicity or any other division you can think of. It’s the only occasion when thousands of people assemble, often in a major city, for a reason that is totally peaceful, healthy and well-meaning. It’s the only sport in the world where no one ever boos anybody.”

This act of kindness.

And this ‘virtual’ run that has spread so quickly, so virally. And you better believe I ran this morning. M and I ran and ran, in silence, our longest run since the fall. It was tough. I was in my head at the start, but by the end, I felt accomplished, happy, and in a way, paying it forward.

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Take a minute. Pay it forward. Tell someone you love them. Run. Walk. Smile. Do something. Be inspired today, and take one step in front of the other, onward.

 

 


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Musings on the (mostly recovered) knee and running outside.

I’ve been waiting to talk more about my knee until I felt as though I was (mostly) recovered (partially also not to jinx it, of course!), but after two fantastic outdoor runs this weekend, it felt like the perfect time.

What I’ve learned so far?

Patience is a freaking virtue. I hate to admit it, because it was incredibly difficult at first. Despite this injury being relatively minor in the grand scheme of things, and of knee injuries generally, I consider myself extremely fortunate that it’s really only taken about three months since the pain first started (December) through physical therapy (starting in January for 8 weeks) to being back to running almost as regularly as before.

Leg strength and those PT exercises really do work wonders. I actually really enjoyed going to physical therapy and learning where I have some weaknesses (a little in my hips, left quad only [odd!] mainly) and how to work those areas, and the opposing areas to strengthen and improve my legs overall. While I went into this thinking my legs are strong – and they are – knowing that there are small areas of weakness that, with a little strengthening daily, really REALLY makes a big difference!).

Slow and steady wins the race. Okay, that statement never quite made sense to me in the literal sense, BUT, this approach has really helped me a) not get frustrated that I am not back where I was endurance, distance and speed-wise as before and b) steadily work my way back to 3-4 runs per week (4 has not quite happened yet, but that’s also due to teaching a lot of classes lately each week – wheeee – and I am trying to be smart about it and not overdo it!) and steadily increase my pace. Not that speed is important to me, because it is not, but I lost a lot of my ‘regular’ treadmill pace in those months of not running and I am realistic in knowing it’ll take time to get back.

What did my outdoor runs this weekend teach me?

I feel so much more satisfied running outside than on the (dread)mill. Even though my runs were shorter, about 3.5 miles each, my legs just felt so much more worked than when I run on the mill. I LOVE that feeling. Absolutely adore it. Every area of my quads, glutes, hammies and shins felt it. I am sorer today as a result and ya know what? That hurts so good. THAT is what I missed about running on the mill this winter and not running at all. I LOVE that feeling.

My legs feel stronger and sturdier post-PT. I was amazed at how much stronger I felt as I ran. Saturday I ran for the first time with a (soon to be!) instructor at barre n9ne (she is another 60 day transformation story – check her story here, side note/plug!!) and it just felt like a good run (sans one side cramp). Happy, not stressy or hard in a bad way (struggling way). Sunday, I ran with M post teaching at the studio, and the run felt amazing. Every stride felt good. I didn’t feel tempted to stop at a few spots I usually do on the route we took. Strong and sturdy. Slow and steady. Wins the race. (see, I guess that statement does work…hehe)

And I can’t wait to run outside more, more, more!! After only running once outside before this in 2013 (gah!), with this girl (kindred!), it’s making me itch for more outdoor runs. The more, the better. Consistency will be key for me now. Come onnnnn spring!!

On that note, I hope you all had a great weekend…we certainly did, much more to share on that soon, but lest I jinx myself, I shall leave it at that ;-)

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I am proud.

I am proud…

…that I didn’t cower and revert to shyness, and faced tables of people, sitting down and talking with coworkers and folks I don’t see on a regular basis.

…that I talked to those that can be pretty intimidating ..including executives, C-level, VP, directors, and held my own. Talked the talk, walked the walk, and even talked all things barre, running and teaching ;-)

…that I chose wisely at every meal. Chose fueling options, like a salmon burger loaded with veggies and salad and no empty calorie bun that probably wouldn’t have tasted good anyway, or an apple with peanut butter vs. the oatmeal and chocolate cookies set out during coffee breaks. That I chose normally.

…that I didn’t duck out of cocktail hours and after-dinner socials, even though my boss (my security blanket, let’s face it!) left early. And stood my own. Chatted, laughed, got to know coworkers more. 

…that I got some fabulous runs in, and that my knee was strong and happy, and I didn’t push it, but ran happy and admittedly  relieved.

…that while I did need to shift my focus a bit, it wasn’t *that* hard to do, or as hard as I thought it would be.

I am proud of me…again, my third sales conference for my company, and probably my most social, outgoing, and confident experience. This is me saying it proud: go me. I think I deserved that ;-)

This week has been proof positive that once again, stepping out of your comfort zone really does lead to change, growth, and confidence.

And now I shall rest up a little bit more on this much-needed break, and then head into my last dinner and social hour before I pack it up and head home tomorrow. One more workout, a much needed ‘me’ meal, alone, decompressing, needed, after several days of hundreds of people everywhere (quite the switch for me, my little work from home niche I love so much!). And then a flight home with Meaghan, my ‘kindred,’ how fabulous is that?

Cheers, friends, and thank you for always supporting and always believing in me. XO!

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I vow to shift my focus.

Sometimes, shifting my focus is harder than others. But as I have gotten the hang of it as I have needed to shift my focus and perspective at times, I am at a point where I want to make it a vow…to always shift my focus. Because when you do, it does wonders for the soul.

For example…

Instead of dreading my Sunday morning flight to the annual sales kick off for my company in Southern California, complaining that I *only* have one weekend day and will be sad to leave M….

I will shift my focus and embrace every minute of my abbreviated weekend, I will plan ahead, I will pack early, I will get settled so I can thoroughly enjoy what I do have. Teaching at barre n9ne (yay), seeing a few open houses (double yay!) and then a leisurely date night in dinner (triple yay – recreating the first meal M ever made for me!).

Instead of stressing over un-routine while away Sunday – Wednesday…

I will shift my focus and embrace it, plain and simple. There is nothing I can do to change it, so I will adjust, I will plan ahead, I will be normal, and I will go with the flow (something incredibly difficult for me but I am learning!!). I will also enjoy the 60 degree temperate jump (from the 1 degree it was here yesterday…) even though it will rain almost the whole time (shifting, shifting…)

Instead of complaining about having to travel for work…

I will shift my focus and give myself a huge dose of reality: this is my last work trip alone for the foreseeable future (M will be with me on my trip in April, yay!) and let’s be honest: I work from home. I have flexibility with my job (and it is a job I love!), and when I do travel, it’s to sunny, warm Orange County. Seriously right now?! Self: stop being lame.

Instead of wishing and wanting to run longer, farther, better…

I will shift my focus and realize that my IT band is getting stronger, and I got to run TWICE this week with ZERO pain (yay!) and I am able-bodied to do so many other things – spin, walk, barre…this is just a blip in the radar, and far bigger issues in this world than the inability to run for a month or two.

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Writing out my thoughts sometimes helps me process them, of course, but also see how strong the mind really is. If you let it go haywire, you will lose perspective, harness a skewed reality, and focus on the wrong things…and be negative.

If you shift your focus and really see the bottom line on the things that nag at you? You will harness them into a better, happier, more positive reality – the REAL reality of life…that in the grand scheme of it, these ‘things’ or frustrations are just that – things. In the grand scheme of it, life is amazing, and every obstacle, frustration or challenge is an opportunity to flourish and prove to yourself what you are capable of, in mind, body and soul.

I vow…to shift my focus. Always.

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