Determined. To Be…

…a runner, a sister, a lover…living a fit and happy life.

Tag Archives: self


by 14 Comments

Could it really be?

Five years, (almost) since my journey truly began?

One that was born out of divorce, that brought me to the here and now?

As I thought about what  I wanted to post today for a barre n9ne studio instagram challenge we are doing (#b9thinkspring – 7 days of photos, from favorite pre-workout snack, to spring accessory, to someone that inspires you, to something you are thankful for), there was no question about it: I give thanks for my life, this life, the one I am living each and every day, the life I have lived  as true to self as I ever have, since that day in October 2008 where my (now) ex-husband told me he wanted a divorce.

Five years. Just about five years ago?

I have no words. Just this quote, which pretty much sums it up.

f8b3a58676fe0b316dacf02b533ce806

Happy weekend friends…I hope you are thankful too, for wherever you are in life, for wherever it has brought you, for who you are, as a result. Be inspired.

 


by 26 Comments

Progress…(somewhat) under wraps.

First of all, thank you so much for your kind words, well wishes, and support for us as we launch into our first home together! It truly means so much to have so many, near and far, care, send support, and pray for us. More than words can say.

(and reading, and rereading all of your comments just makes this feel so much more real, I can’t even stand it! wheeeeeee!!)

~~~

I feel as though – again – I’m silently moving ahead with our plans, to live, to marry, to be and I am not quite sharing it all here. Yes, it is purposeful. Yes, it is with some sense of intent. And yes, it is worth doing this the way we want to do it, and moreso, for ME to do it this way. M knows about my blog, of course (though he used to not, as some of you know!), and supports whatever I decide, in terms of how disclosive I am here, and in ‘real life’ with regard to…well, us.

But at the same time, I *miss* sharing some of this excitement and progress here. And I plan to post more on these things, but probably more so after they have happened, similar to discussing our house plans. Partially out of fear of the proverbial ‘jinx’ and partially because privacy is often underrated, I think. And I need to respect that  - for me, and us – more now than I ever have before.

…just know that good things are in store. Big things. Fabulous things. Uniting things. Soon. Relatively soon. And it’s so damn awesome, I can hardly contain myself. Clearly.

Progress…under wraps.

*file under: being secretive* <–though it is so damn hard!!

~~

In other not-so-secretive progress ‘news’ – it’s amazing how each day, I feel more and more in tune with my body. More ‘in love’ with me, versus writhing against who I am, my body, my habits. I feel like I own them more, I am confident behind them, and don’t need as many crutches as I have in the past.

I own my eating habits. I know my body. I know what fuels it. I know what it likes. I know how to keep it balanced. And that has taken so long to get a handle on…but it’s been so worth it!

I continue to focus on balancing the ‘smarter, not harder’ mantra, especially when I want to tiptoe over that line because I love what I do so much. I love to teach, yet I love to take classes, yet I love to run. But I can’t do it all, every single day. I need to choose, be selective, yet still get my ‘me’ workouts in where I can and where makes the most sense. Some days are harder than others to realize this, but then I go back to two things: be smart. And embrace the ability.

And, I continue to focus on being my own best friend, loving myself for what it can do, not for what (I perceive it to) not be able to do or look like. Nobody is perfect, so why not strive for excellence, balance, and happiness, instead? Life is too short for perfection, IMHO ;-)

~~~

So…life progresses. In so many good ways. And also in some upcoming challenging ways. But I feel ready. Far more ready than I ever have. And that is worth rejoicing, and embracing, isn’t it? 

bbfda29323fb63b090dfb950969d6eec


by 26 Comments

Affirmations.

“Believe in yourself and all that you are…Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.”

…even when you have doubts.
…even during moments of self image weakness.
….even when it scares you.
believe in yourself. always.

“There’s no need to be perfect to inspire others…let others get inspired by how you handle your imperfections“

…perfection isn’t realistic.
…perfection isn’t happy.
…inspiration comes from happiness, overcoming, and perseverance.
…quietly inspire someone today, or BE inspired today.

“If it scares you..it might be a good thing to try.”

…unseat comfort zones (this means me, too!).
…stick your neck out, you’ll never be dissapointed that you did.
…do LIFE differently.

“You cannot change the people around you, but you can change the people you choose to BE around.”

…CHOOSE your friends.
…step away from those don’t meet you halfway.
…draw a line in the sand, because there’s no sense spreading yourself so thin you don’t enjoy living.

“Someone is thankful for less than YOU have”

…hi, humbleness.
…house? it’ll come.
…able bodied? check.
…imperfections? We all have ‘em.
…live blessed, happy, gracious lives.

“I have no time for your negative bullshit.”

…no words needed. universal.truth.

Just some thoughts swirling today…these happen to be my universal truths walking around as affirmations I need to hear more often than I sometimes want to admit. But at the core of it? This life is meant to be a challenge, so choose it, it is meant to be lived, so shrug off the negativity, it is meant to be learned from, so stare straight at it and grasp what it’s telling you. 

Cheers friends!

229331805994542151_tgaVGEz0_f


by 35 Comments

12 utterly useless facts about me Friday.

This is a blatant rip-off of Ali’s post today – it made me laugh so hard, I just had to write one myself ;-) Some random and utterly useless facts about me on this fine FEF!

I seriously KEEP watching this video and laugh hysterically EVERY time. I first saw it at the gym yesterday and laughed like a fool while on the ‘mill (speed walking, mind you, not running, even though I wanted to!!), then again with M, as I showed him after the gym, then re-laughed at it IMing portions of it back and forth with Jess, and then AGAIN laughed at it with M as we were drifting off to sleep.

On that note, ever start laughing at something completely ridiculous and not even that funny, yet you find it utterly hilarious and can’t even stop laughing to explain why you are laughing? Happens to me far too often. Bonus points if it happens with my sisters, and we each know what we are laughing at by our facial gestures and guffaw and arm motions, but can’t spit the words out. Sister intuition ;-)

I HATE when the sheets aren’t tucked in on the bed. Don’t even get me started if the bottom of the sheets and comforter slide off the bed in any form or fashion. I will get up at 2 am and retuck the sheets. (before M and I moved in together, his bed was always a shitshow and I literally had to make his bed before I could sleep in it. LOL)

I hate when people whistle. M whistles and it is one thing that irritates me. Yet he’s actually a really good whistler. Nice and strong. LOL. But I still hate it.

I hate when I can’t type for sh*t. Like, every third word is mispelled because I am typing too fast, or the words are typed with random spaces, lik ethis. OMG it drives me batty, yet I can’t stop myself from typing slowe rso it doesn’t happe nagain. Gah! ;-)

I LOVE using QTips. It feels so good. Yes, I’m weird. And yes I know I’m not supposed to clean my ears with them. But, pray tell, what ARE you supposed to use them for, then??

I also love rubbing my eyes. But can only do that when my contacts are out, and then, game on, I can rub my eyes for a solid 5 minutes and it feels *almost* as good as using QTips.

I can’t swim. But we kinda knew this already.

I have a cleaning ritual. I clean our apartment top to bottom once a week (with mini cleanings throughout the week, of course). I ALWAYS start and end the same way. I can’t start in the middle, and I can’t skip a step, except juuuust one. Wrapping the chord around the vacuum when I am done (I know I have mentioned this before!). I abhor it. Almost always time it so M is still home and he can do it for me, or else I do it begrudgingly. Because Lord knows I couldn’t LEAVE the vacuum out all day.

I hate when my work email has a scroll bar. I file my emails as soon as I am done with whatever task is in said email. When I have a scrollbar, I have FAR too many things to do, and my goal each week is to shut down my computer with *no* scrollbar in my email. Yes, this is extremely type A.

I HATE lingering food smells. As in, the failed attempt at crab bisque M made last night that stunk up our apartment and lingered all night and this morning until aforementioned cleaning ritual commenced. Drives me absolutely bonkers. Who wants to wake up in the middle of the night and smell…crab? Gag. I legit tell M not to make fish when I am not home because he never turns the fan on to ventilate if I am not home ;-) #obsessmuch

I love house hunting…and it reminds me of the game the Sims. Just me? No? LOL. But truly, I do love looking at houses and dreaming up how it would look if I lived there. And – nice segue – M and I are looking at houses this weekend! I am sooooooo excited. We truly can’t move till at least June, with our lease, but it never hurts to start a smidge early, right?! ;-)

So what about you…anything random you feel like sharing? I’m looking forward to a fantastic weekend, filled with house hunting, a night out with a hot man (it’s M, just so we’re clear – LOL), Sunday Funday AND teaching my very first barre n9ne intensive (1 hr 15 mins of pure sweatastic awesomeness!!!). Happy weekend friends!!


by 34 Comments

To 2013: the year of BE.

2013.

The year of BE.

When Lindsay first told me she thought my year would revolve around ‘BE,’ I didn’t quite ‘get’ how that could apply to this new year we face. But as I have thought more about it, it is so clear. It is the year of BE.

In 2013…I vow to:

BE still. 

I’ve embarked on a mission to do less, live more. Balance. Prioritize. Say no. Dont overplan. But the one piece missing is the ability to BE still. Just be. Don’t DO anything. Don’t HURRY through life. As I read this passage from Proverbes 31, I realized THIS is what I want: Eliminating hurry from my life took years of hard work. I had to choose to walk and talk slower. I had to eliminate responsibilities from my life, and plan ahead. Most importantly, I had to deal with the hidden issues that motivated me to hurry.

2013: the year I learn how to BE still.

BElieve in myself.

I need to keep this on my list as something I focus on in 2013, because I have clearly slid back here and there in being my own friend, and trusting my abilities, valuing my body and its strength, and seeing past what I may nitpick as my downfalls. This also goes for running. I vow this year will be the year I push past my comfort zone and fear of failure, fear of bad runs, and love/hate relationship with running that plagues me. I am hoping this girl can help me, but that ultimately, I can get out of my head and officially LOVE running through and through.

2013: the year I BElieve in myself.

BEcome a wife (and BE a good one!).

In 2013, M and I will marry, continuing our story, for the rest of our lives. I couldn’t feel more content, happy, and confident that this time…this time is far different. This time, I marry with intent, I love with intent and push complacency away, because truthfully, if I have learned anything, it’s that complacency is truly what unravels a marriage: There is a delicate nature to marriage. It’s so easy to forget that. It’s so easy to take it all for granted and stop being careful. Stop being mindful. Stop being protective.,

2013: I vow to M, to be a present, mindful, loving, intentful wife. As we blend our lives together, forever. 

~~

I could take this notion of ‘be’ in so many directions, and the above sentiments are such universal truths in a sense. If you were to take this notion of ‘be’ – what would you vow to do in 2013? Really think about it….there are limitless possibilities.

I intentionally didn’t include any fitness or work goals in here, because I think those will come in time and naturally. I don’t need a fixed goal as my motivation…the above ‘goals’ are really what i feel what will keep me in check, motivated, and ultimately, a better friend, daughter, sister, aunt and (almost) wife. 

~~

Cheers…to 2013 and the year of BE!

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 868 other followers